It is winter here up and it has been snowing. Lovely picture perfect Christmas scenes, with icy cold winds. Quite beautiful though. In my latest bid of reshaping myself, I am walking long hours a day. I meet with some friends in bars or shops, make long circular movements around my house and wear a scarf to protect my face. The last few days it was crispy cold but there was some sun and overall it was just a joy to be outside. Until I had to sit indoors somewhere :) Too hot, too dry and I can't believe why people find it comforting to sit in that type of atmosphere. Even before I developed rosacea I never liked overheated rooms. My sister can sit in her house with the central heating set to 24 degrees and still be cold and cuddle up under a blanket. Dreadful. Or actually, I'd love to be like that. Apart from the electrical bill. A friend I visited shortly said about this that a lot of people, him included, get accustomed to a certain indoor temperature and then keep cranking the thing up. I am not convinced it could ever work like that for me, it is like with awkward smells, I don't think I will ever get used to it. I am sure the smell thing is related to the flushing as well, but I can really be repelled when I am walking behind (or worse, sitting behind) someone wearing this overstated strong perfume. When someone talks to me I am often able to tell what they ate recently and I avoid rest rooms with built in air fresheners when possible. What others find 'fresh and clean' smelling, I find synthetic and almost nauseating at worst. I am sure that deep down it is a Pavlovian reaction out of fear to flush..
Luckily the exercise is helping a bit and I also cut
down my food intake. I know this is going to sound really unhealthy, but I found
that when I skip my breakfast and lunch, I just don't feel hungry throughout
the day. I think munching on something activates the digestion or something
cause I can eat all day when I start of with 'brekkie', but I have managed to
keep going for the last 10 days eating only a proper plate full of gluten free
pasta, kidney beans, broccoli, organic pear mouse and the odd piece of chicken
in the evening. But I am not hungry and already lost
over 6 kilo's, hurrah!! Who said that people taking remeron can't shed the
weight? Anyway, not very earth shattering important, all this :) So I have been very social for a week and been
catching up with friends and family and luckily my post mepacrine flush calmed
down to a degree, approximately at the 14 day mark (just like a few years ago)
and I could make the most of it after hibernating for quite some time, but I
now just look forward to curling up inside again, doors locked and
working. Maybe that is one of the rosacea aspects that one should appreciate:
back in the old days I was too restless to just enjoy being at home. There was
always something exciting to do somewhere and I was very easily bored. Now I
have just gotten used to being unable to really go outside or socialize for some periods of time. But I actually enjoy those times cut off and in my own world. Doubt I would
have if I had had good skin all the time. I used to be so restless and ok, admittedly I am still restless
at times, but I no longer think I 'deserve' the most uplifting lifestyle. If
anything, I love it when people don't
bother to invite me or come over unexpected. Maybe you get in life what you
need, or maybe there is some predisposition for things to happen. Although I actually think it's more to bad luck, tbh. I used to
believe in pure luck and chance, but that gives quite a lot of restlessness
when you are not content with the status quo, because then there are always a
ton of opportunities passing you by while you were sleeping/spending time with
other people or things etc. And when bad things happen to you, you intrinsically must
have brought it upon yourself by not being careful or thoughtful enough. I
wonder if some things aren't already predisposed, like the person you will be
with in the long term, whether you'll get sick or not, have kids or not. And then right when you want to have an early night's sleep there is
the news about Newtown and those poor 20 children that are massacred.. and
the brave teachers who died for them. What a world we live in. Pierce Morgan
went wild when discussing it on CNN with the weapon lobby guys, who of
course see no connection between those ongoing weapon rampages and the legalization
of weapons and maintained their usual sussing tone. What a world.. (Go Pierce!)
I traveled to a friend through the country. It was hot in the
train of course and in the past Dutch trains had small ventilators above your
head that you could switch on or off, and point towards your face. Brilliant!
Of course with a new train company (all privatized in Holland and a bit of a mess
ever since) the old trains weren't good enough anymore and the new models have
no ventilation what so ever. It really kept me unflushed in the past. In
some buses they still have those ventilators luckily. I was in the train last week and pondered
what the world would look if everybody had rosacea. This is a returning thought and I assume that there would be ice cube vendors on every corner then,
massive industrial ventilators in every shopping mall, mild and comfortable
indoor temperatures of 16 degrees everywhere and build in fans in every public
transport. In summer the airco would be set just right and in winter they
wouldn't heat everything up to a temperature that's hotter than the summer temperature which they want to lower in turn again with the airco (did anyone ever understand the logic of
that by the way?). There would be no
perfume odors in public toilets and every household would have at least 3
ventilators, of different sizes, so that wherever you sit down (dinner table,
lounge, bedroom) there will always be a subtle light breeze cooling you down, if needed.
Every public area would have massive freezers in some corner with cold packs
for rental, including cotton sheet pillows to wrap around them (washed in neutral
washing powder without perfumes, colorings and other chemicals). Everybody would wear hats and no one would make cowboy sounds to each
other. There would be a lot of places where you can get
sushi without vinegar or spices, gluten free/sugar free treats, fresh fruit
salads without preservatives, fruit juices without orange or lemon juice, dairy
free milkshakes that are so delicious that you won't even notice that they have
no sugar in them (nor soy) and hardly
any calories. There would be peanut butter that doesn't contain histamine and
lollypops of flush free honey. And lots of ice cream made from organic fruits
and water (they do exist by the way, I eat them all summer, apricot flavor or
raspberry, blackberry or melon). And last but not least: limitless access to
histamine/sugar free chocolate, that would make you lose weight when you ate
it, and that acted in a complicated way as a strong anti-inflammatory. That
would be a cool world. And no stressful happenings either! No embarrassing
situations, friendly helpful people -we are all in the same boat after all and
are making the most of it all- and clubs and disco's with lots of cold, alcohol
free drinks with plenty of ice cubes and big fans keeping everybody fresh and
cool. And special mirrors that block all red tones :) :) Maybe no irritating greedy people either?
Or am I really winging it now. Back to reality. I bought turmeric (curcumin longo)
and probiotics in the organic shop for a whopping 60 euro -by then I felt it
was too late to have second thoughts but bloody bloody how expensive- that are
both supposed to lower inflammation levels. The probiotic hopefully helps the
bowel as well, but it won't be the first time that I bought expensive pills
that either do nothing or make matters worse. Got to keep trying however. I'll
wait a week or 2 before I start taking them by the way, I want my skin to be
normal again first and let the mepacrine wear off entirely, so I can start with
a clean slate ' research wise' :) The vitamin D posts is almost ready. Will update soon.
Surprising enough they advice us to avoid staying in cold rooms and explain in a great way how the heat regulation works and what the 'warm room flush phenomenon' means. Check out the pdf file here. It is discussed on the Rosacea Forum here. And I made an entire blog post about this Warm Room Flush phenomenon which you can read here.
Update August 20th 2018
in general I seem to be more red in winter than in summer. Which sounds very strange to my parents and friends' ears haha. 'Weren't you always too hot?' But through forums and online groups I know more people like me, with red hot skin flushing, who have calmer skin in summer and much worse flares and general redness in winter! I think it has to do with several factors; in winter the outdoor temperature is a lot different from indoor temperatures, so when you go in and out of places, your skin deals with constant temperature fluctuations, which sets the blood vessels off to flush. Read about the warm room theory to hear more about this phenomenon. Cold weather also tends to constrict the blood vessels in the face more extremely to preserve body heat, and then when you enter a warm room, the capillaries in your skin dilate rapidly, which puts more pressure on them. Maybe that is why some people in cold and wind swept climates (think of Mongolia) have more often a ruddy reddish complexion. Once you have visible broken veins on your face, laser or IPL can remove them again, and taking vitamin C is often suggested as way to strengthen the blood vessels.
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