I try to give an insight in my own life and dealings with rosacea. I also try to gather information that might be useful for everyone with rosacea, especially subtype 1 with burning, flushing and skin redness. I happen to be a bit unfortunate in that I have this condition for a long time already, and unlike many others, I haven't been able to get it into remission. I know it is more uplifting to read about someone who has beaten rosacea, but I like to write about the struggles that come for those who haven't achieved this. I also blabber about other everyday life topics here.
.jpg)
Ughh.. It has been so hot here. Today was 33 degrees with bright sun and very high humidity. I had been trying to keep my skin cool in the house with the aircon in the bedroom and in the livingroom. I get these awful red rashes/breakouts whenever I get too warm and my skin gets too hot. Never used to, but the past few years I do. I had been able to bring the worst of it back by strictly avoiding the heat. This morning my face looked ok, but I needed to keep it cool. Then I went shopping. The car we use has had issues with its airconditioning for years. I won't bore you with the details, there was also something else wrong with it by 2022 and then we waited for a garagist acquaintance who promised and promised more to repair it for a better price than the city garage offered. Which took forever. Well, last week the car was finally repaired. 'It feels like a freezer in here', the garagist from the village said as he called while driving back. Today was the first test drive for me, in 33 degrees outside and 42 (I kid you not) degrees inside the car. I came out the house with pale skin, but I was beet red and on fire within 5 minutes 😒
The car aircon took for ever to start working. Just hot air coming out the air vents. Then lukewarm air. Tepid air, but no cold air. I had my face right in front of the air vents and was a bit panicked. Ten minutes in and still nothing. I thought I would go crazy. 1000 euro spent and given to this garagist and the moment I step in, the airco doesn't work properly. I still don't know now if the mega heat caused the car to not cool properly. I have a feeling it just wasn't repaired correctly, but we'll make a test drive someone soon when it isn't so scorching hot, to give it a fair try. Fingers crossed! But I couldn't come into the supermarket today, as my neck fan was out of battery I realised halfway into the journey (noooo) and my face was so flushed and so painful that I just kept the car running and stuck my face before the aircon on the parking lot of both supermarkets 😓 I felt so, so miserable. Of course when I came back home my cheeks were on fire, but also full of red heat rashes. Two hours of flushing and heat exposure and I look like I had a heart attack and like I have chicken pox 😩 The flush comes down again after some cooling, but these itchy rashes stay for days and days. I find summers more and more unbearable. I can't go anywhere, am constantly stuck behind fans and aircons and now these cold and heat urticaria issues of the past years are making things even more difficult. On a colder day, I do so much better, but to think I have several months of this hell ahead of me.. I am so down.
You can see in these photos below (wearing zero make-up as usual, unfortunately) how one moment my skin looks fairly clear and within a day or two of heat exposure, it breaks out and gets rashes and redness. And sure, it is just a rash but the itching drives me crazy and wants me to scratch my skin off. The only way for it to go down again is to cool cool cool with a fan and airco. This is not the same as my normal rosacea. I only ever get this type of rashing in extreme cold or very warm weather. It itches also, whereas normally my rosacea never itches. The derm I saw last time thought it was subtype 2 rosacea and didn't want to hear about the heat factor. But the metrogel he prescribed did nothing of course. I can predict almost 100% when the skin temperature got too high (also during a dinner evening for instance where I don't wear a neck fan and my skin just glows and burns all night) and the rash comes up. I suspect it is linked to my bad skin barrier, as I only ever get it on my face. Maybe it is an issue with the sweat duct in my face, maybe the bad IPL treatment ruined the skin barrier, maybe my rosacea makes my cheeks way too hot in temperature. Or it may be mast cell related after all. I went to the hospital the other day to get a print out of my last immunologist/allergist visit and how they ruled out lupus, mastocytosis and some other illnesses. But the specialist thinks I have abnormally functioning mast cells and that is in part what triggers this bad flushing. And to try montelukast again. I'll try it soon again. I do think my rosacea problem is also in part due to faulty blood vessels in the face and too many blood vessels in the face. From decades of flushing plus IPL damage. But the massive hot throbbing flushing is usually triggered for me by strong emotions or anything releasing histamine, with very extreme food triggers. Fluorescent lighting in supermarkets also flares me after a longer time under them. I always wear a hat in supermarkets, as the fluorescent lighting has an inflammatory effect on my skin.. And does indirect sunlight coming in through car windows. My rosacea also seems to flare when I sit behind computer screens all day every day. It is really difficult as I use the computer most of the day for work and information provision and many social contacts as well. I set the screen brightness very low usually (not helping with me very poor eyesight and -4 glasses). The times I am away from screens, my skin does seem to be less red and flared up.I am miserable at the moment tbh. Weather is warm, my skin is all flaring. I get so down during the hot months. Some loved ones also passed away recently or fell seriously ill. Realization that with my lifestyle (no kids), I am not looking forward to new generations but backwards. Looking after my parents and dreading them passing at some point, despite them being in their 70's which is a good old age already and me being in my 40's now. No regrets as I just couldn't do it, being glued to the fan and aircon. And I try to stay positive and count the blessings in life. But change is difficult and people dying is among the most permanent change. Looking forward to the fall.
PARIS TRIP A month or two ago I went to Paris for 3 days with three others including my sister. I don't go to concerts often, but had scored tickets for an English band that was big in 2004 and 2005. My sister and I used to listen to it a lot then, as our middle sister Jennifer passed away in 2004 and the upbeat piano pop music of this band Keane meant a lot to us at the time. Their songs were pretty uplifting and 2005 was a heavy year, also because on top I had absolute hell from my rosacea at the time. But their music was really a bit of a lifeline almost. My sister learnt about them through me and then became a super fan, listening to their music all the time. They didn't make too much music afterwards. Keane had a 2nd good album out after Hopes and Fears and then the lead singer dealt with addiction problems. Only for them to bring out a few more singles in the 2010's and then they just settled into domestic life, basically. So this was the first time in many years that they were properly doing a European tour again. Simply to celebrate the 20 year anniversary of that debut album. The tickets were sold out in no time. We missed out on Amsterdam tickets and also on Paris tickets. But I came home that afternoon after doing groceries and I couldn't get that concert out of my head and rechecked the tour dates and POOF, a new Paris concert day popped up. I immediately bought two tickets and then some others wanted to come also. We only had to travel to Paris for it😊
The concert was in the most famous music hall of Paris: the Olympia. I did see Keane perform live 3 times before already, but that was many years ago and in big stadiums mostly, which is often lacking in atmosphere a bit. But the Olympia is like a big cinema hall almost; very cozy, very intimate and space for less than 3000 people (normally 2000), divided over a balcony area with only seats and a downstairs pit where people can stand during concerts. I bought us tickets in the pit, as it is closer to the stage and also because it can be very nice to be surrounded closely by others who also sing along. The Olympia is the most famous music hall in France, and even the Beatles played there. But it is iconic because of every French singer and chansonnier of importance having shone there. The acoustics is supposed to be insanely good and the place is a rock temple also, not too big and like a warm embrace they say. So I was really excited about going there for the first time. We planned on arriving at our first destination an hour south of Paris by 6 PM but it was raining heavily on the way there. And as I get a bit older, the long distance driving is so much more tiring and strenuous than when I was, say, 28 and could easily drive 1500 km without any stops other than petrol station stops. Once arriving at the old gite we were greeted by a beautiful red cat instantly on the parking. I could pet him and hold him in my arms while he purred, so that was lovely. I love cats! 
The owner is a very old man and he had asked if we ate along with the 'table d'hôte' as they call it: host makes one evening meal and you can join if you like. There were other guests, but all were Dutch families (wow, how is that possible). I was tired and my skin was flaring, so I said no thanks. As there was also a woodfire burning in the beautiful dining room. They later brought a tray with food up for me, which was nice. The food was nothing special tbh; some lettuce with some goat's cheese and a cheese samosa, then some fatty beef stew and vegetables from a can and downstairs they had been given a fruit sorbet ice desert but I got 2 apples and some yogurt :) No problem, but it was very expensive. The room was lovely though, all the way up under the roof (the old maid's room) of the stunning old building and it felt like a little castle room. Very old windows that could be opened from both sides. The only downside was that the bed linen had been washed in the most smelly flowery perfume. I am somehow extremely reactive to chemical smells and perfumes. It is so annoying and impractical. I don't know what it is, and it is totally ridiculous, but I suspect it to be some form of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity or something. When getting in the train in the morning, I need to sit outside of the main coupés too if too many people are in there oozing freshly applied perfume, deodorant and aftershave. I immediately start to flush otherwise. Same with wearing clothes drenched in perfumey washing powder. It must be central nervous system-related, some sort of allergy, as I don't even need to get the stuff on my skin. Just the smell of it in the air is enough. So anyway, when going to a hotel I usually bring one of my own bed covers or a onesie to wear under it. Here the whole room smelled of perfume and I did have a flare-up most of the evening. Luckily the windows could be opened. 
Also quirky: the toilet was outside of the room, in a cupboard in the wall of the stairs. Never seen such a construction before. And the shower was tiny, under a slated roof and built inside a cupboard as well. But totally functional. When I went downstairs for the Wi-Fi code, I saw the red cat sitting outside so I stayed with it for half an hour, walking the gardens and sitting with it on one of the benches. It immediately started to give me kisses and curled up on my lap or tried to climb up to my arms. It was small and all red, I guess it was maybe 8 or 9 months old or so. Beautiful little cat! Then later I saw it sitting inside the place, in the hallway. I asked the host if it was his cat? And he told me that the at had wandered in two months ago and would not leave. And he shrugged his shoulders a bit like 'what can you do'. I asked if he could stay indoors and he seemed to be ok with it and murmured something like; 'cats will do what they want'. We were at the 2nd floor and I noticed the cat laying on a chair on the hallway of the 1st floor. When he noticed me he came up our stairs in a wayward manner and then slipped into our bedroom and was soooooo happy to roll onto the beds and get cuddled by us. Eventually I had to put him outside the room again, as we had the window open and I did not want him to fall out in an unattended moment. But he would scratch the door or howl and whenever I opened the door I could see him larking around nearby and trying to come back in. Awwww. I really wanted to bring him home. But I already have cats at home. It made me sad though to think of the little fella eyeing our room the next night and probably finding some cat hating guests there instead and him being confused..
The next day we skipped the offered breakfast and opted to buy a chocolate croissant in the local bakery on the way to Paris. That last hour went well, we drove pretty much straight to the Paris neighborhood we had to be for the hotel, Batignolles. The neighborhood is less touristic than the inner city center. Although it is the old inner city that is prettiest I'd say. But all of Paris has many nice old buildings and Batignolles has a beautiful park, many nice streets and it is still a place where locals live, a very cosy part of town. It was a bit of a maze with one way streets, making it difficult to get to the parking lot. Took 3 tries and 30 minutes until we found a correct road. We couldn't yet check into the hotel, as this was allowed from 3 PM onward. So we left the luggage in the car boot and took the metro to Le Marais (an old Jewish neighborhood with great clothing stores and cafes, very hip area). We only had to take metroline 14, but every time a new one stopped at our station it was packed to the brink. Tokyo style, with people's faces stuck to the windows. There was no way we could push in as well. Waited 10 minutes for the next metro,... same thing! People packed like sardines into every space. Third time the same thing happened and we had been over half an hour waiting. I said; let's walk to another metro station with a different line. But then it turned out that one of the main metro lines was out that weekend, hence the overloaded other line crossing our neighborhood. We ended up taking the bus, which took 40 minutes to reach the Rue de Rivoli, but we were glad to be able to have some lunch together then.
French people may not be known for speaking English a lot, but it was so nice to hear the whole room and crowd singing along loudly. The atmosphere was really amazing. Everyone dancing and chanting and being nice to the people around them. My sister made several videos and I morphed them into a compilation video of that night, as she often recorded parts of songs and not the whole concert. Good for her, as I remember one concert some years ago (a band called Saybia) and me recording the entire concert on my digital camera... only to find out later at home that the sound was ear-pinchingly bad and I had wasted a great concert by peering through a camera lens. Singer Tom kept saying in between songs what a crazy crowd this was, how happy and loud and what a perfect night for this last concert of their European tour. That this was one of those nights they did not want to end. Awww. Call me naive, but I liked to think he didn't say the exact same things during his previous concerts haha. It was very warm in there unfortunately. I had brought my most inconspicuous looking neck fan with me and that worked alright. I had red cheeks and felt warm, but didn't have that painful throbbing type of flushing. The security guys also gave water to people in the front of the pit and to us, which was really nice. As nobody wanted to leave their spot mid-concert to go to the bar. When I checked the state of my skin later on, it wasn't too red. And by the time we were back in the hotel it was pale. I had also thought about the smoke they use, as the room was pumped full with it (makes for nice light shows). I had read that aside from water vapour, there is often a glycerine type of oil added, or propylene glycol. My skin does not like that, at all. But I brought my Voss water in a glass bottle to the hotel and rinsed and cleaned my face with that and the next day my skin wasn't broken out or very red. Phew! It made the concert even more worth it. We were back after midnight, the show ended by 11:15 roughly.
The next day we enjoyed a lovely Parisian breakfast in a bakery around the corner. We had spotted it earlier, but by Sunday morning there was quite a line in front of it. My sister made a face but we stuck in line anyway, and thankly so because the pastries and bread in there were amazing. The Dutch variations on croissants and chocolate croissants at home are often not very nice. Dry, crusty. The French one here were heavenly. Bought a bunch of nice things including cinnamon rolls, feta bread and something called a Suisse, which is made of pastry, a thin layer of pastry cream and chocolate. I don't eat bread often as gluten upset my stomach but eating it one rare occasions is generally not a problem (it mostly is an issue when eating gluten every day for a longer time). We visited a local flea market and bought a lovely antique vase. Then strolled towards the Tuileries and the Seine. We wanted to see some art in the Musée d'Orsay museum. My ex and I used to go to Paris four times a year back in the 2000's, as he loved Paris and both his brothers live there. We often went to d'Orsay, as the Louvre just was too packed and had too many tourists. Musée d'Orsay is situated in an old railway station and has beautiful art from the impressionists, including Monet but also Manet, Seurat and many others. Strolling through the building is as pleasant as viewing the old art works. The place has a stunning rooftop terrace also, overlooking the Seine. My friend S. and I sat there for a long time back when we went to Paris for the first time with school. There was nobody up there at the time, and we shot many photos of ourselves. Back then we also never had to wait in line. It was only ever the Louvre that was so touristic. I understood from a French friend that the average Parisian loves going to a museum on Sundays and is really not happy with the museums are slowly being taken over by tourists... Which is what we also found out now. As we turned the corner, we were shocked by the hundreds and hundreds of people waiting in front of the entrance. We would have had to pre-book a timeslot, so that was not going to work now. Same for the Quartier Latin student area we then walked towards, which has quirky galleries and cafes. Also packed with tourists. You could hear them talking Dutch, Scandinavian languages or English. Oh well. I guess everybody loves to travel, but ideally nobody likes to see other tourists doing the same thing, haha.
.jpg)
We had cheap lunch, Caribbean style. Very nice, rice and beans and baked banana, sweet potatoe, avocado and a tahin type of sauce with coconut and cajou nuts. I loved my 'mocktail', made with cherry syrup, melon, lemon and raspberry and ice and bubbles. Yum. Next to us two American men were lunching and talking very loudly. They worked in the American ambassy and kept talking about their work, their beautiful neighborhoods where they lives and where their wives were now holidaying, and where their sons and daughters were studying abroad (one in Japan, the other in Scotland apparently). They talked loudly which allowed us to overhear a lot. We then went to a shop called Ladurée, which is THE original macaron maker. Macarons are tiny cookies in a way, made of baked domed sized smooth cookies from almond flour and the two parts are stuck together by a thin layer of jam, but a very gelly and refined type. They come in many flavours and colours. I never liked them much myself, until a French friend brought us once an ultra chic Ladurée box from Paris. So delicious, with tastes like Rose, lavender, black tea, raspberry, you name it. 
We then went to the Luxembough park (Jardin Luxembourg) and watched people there which was lovely. It is such a nice, classic park. Many people walk there or sit on the classic green chairs they have put everywhere. In Amsterdam they would have been stolen overnight, I don't understand how they are still standing in that park. I wore a big hat as it was getting a little bit sunny (half sun, half shade). We watched Parisian families walk around, couples on a date, middle aged couples who looked like they were secret lovers. One old woman then came walking round, using a cane. She had a limp and walked very slowly. Then she stood still in front of a beautiful stone statue at the end of a little stretch of water, where one duck was washing itself. She stood there for a long time. It was a beautiful image but also a bit sad and she looked so forlorn somehow. It was 4 PM by then and we wondered if she lost her husband perhaps, where her kids were, maybe her grandkids. How she probably had a posh apartment nearby and this being her only daily outing. We then took the metro to the 15th arrondissement where there is an obscure old artists studio where famous artists stayed. La Ruche. Still many artists work there nowadays. It was a decent trip to get there, then a long walk up a hill but we could only peek through the entrance gate, as two middle aged women were busy in the front of the place and a child was making faces to us and sticking her tongue out. We picked up some Asian food on the way back (nems and grilled chicken, bapaos with vegetables and pork and some fried shrimps) and ate it back in the hotel. Then the next day a very long drive back. It was a great trip. 
I watched a beautiful movie:
Now I want to go to Japan and walk the
Nakahechi route (nicely isolated, lots of shade):
January 29, 2024
BUDAPESTI went to Budapest. It was lovely. I was happy being able to walk all days with my ankle holding up! It was still a little bit swollen by evening, but no pain and only some slight discomfort on day three. Can't believe how long it took for that torn ankle ligament to heal, but here we are. All (almost) good again. I still have anxieties about misplacing my foot on stairs and breaking the ankle. The weather on arrival in Budapest was horrendous. Total rain downpour and we had to wander through town for four hours until the room was ready for check in. But we enjoyed thick hot chocolate and goulash soup in an old fancy coffee house. The rest of the stay the weather was great. Fresh enough to be outside without the need for a neck fan for me, and nice and cool at night. I brought my beck fans for in the plane and in restaurants and a small clip on travel fan for nighttime. I also brought a thin bed sheet in case the existing one would be very perfumated from washing detergent. All was good and my skin behaved, although my cheeks were red. But I mainly had proper flushing in the evenings from the food, and a late evening walk would always bring it back down again. (Although unfortunately at this time of writing, the cold weather has really flared up my rosacea badly and I am flushing a lot and have cold urticaria on my cheeks again, despite trying to keep a steady indoor temperature 😳😭).
Budapest is a very pretty old city I thought. Outside the town the place looked almost like a warzone (very run down), but Budapest itself is beautiful, clean and has old 19th century European charm. But it is also Eastern European and has a very different vibe from western European cities I know. You can see many crumbling old buildings and remnants from the Soviet era. My father has a great antipathy towards everything Stalinist and Russian and Eastern Bloc (I personally do not), so we pleased him by photographing many dilapidated buildings in town and sending them to him ('delicious shuddering'). He would also type back: 'Look what those fecking Russians did to the place!' If he could change my name into something non-Russian he probably would at this stage hehe, in retrospect. The city does not replace all its old Soviet architecture and I was glad to see that. Neither has it removed the many socialist realistic statues in town.
We walked a lot and also enjoyed some guided group tour. One covered the Jewish quarter. The tour guide had very interesting stories about the Jewish community throughout the centuries and also told about famous Jewish figures from there and the effects of WW2 and communism. Really glad we did that as it just brought that place alive. The group discussions and interactions were nice as well. I had noticed in general that people in the street or in shops were not overly friendly. To nobody, locals or tourists alike. But not speaking any Hungarian was definitely not helping by their impatience. I wonder if the grumpiness had to do with the poor financial situation there. The tour guide did explain that many people make a poor living with their wages. When passing a protest group in the street near Parliament, we all assumed they were marching for Palestine. But the tour guide said that in fact it were school teachers who were striking because they only made 500 euro a month (!). He explained how low the wages are in Hungary in general and how everyone is struggling in the lower ranked jobs.For us tourists Budapest was more expensive than I had expected based on info booklets and online forums. But I suspect the nice hotels and restaurants and coffee houses are purposely made expensive, as they aim at the tourists mostly. And fairly so. Then on top of high prizes they charged 28% service costs at the checkout (not indicated anywhere), and then they also turned out to expect additional tips. It kind of caused chaos in my slightly autistic brain haha. What are these people exactly expecting me to pay now?? I don't mind tipping, but it is not custom in countries like the Netherlands or France. I didn't understand really what was expected of me, but the sour faces of some waiters when tipping just a little bit said enough 😖 Later I understood that many younger people working in cafes and restaurants rely on tips in part to up their low wages. Probably similar to what is custom in the United States. Whereas we at home believe that people should be paid enough (high enough minimum wages for starters), and then tips are an unexpected bonus. I worked on a tour boat as a student and a tape with all the information would run throughout the boat. We just had to sell drinks and snacks. An elderly American couple was on that boat one time and asked me all sorts of questions about the architecture and history of the town. I know a lot about that and was happy to chat with them for that hour of the tour. Then as they got up to disembark the man pressed two hundred euro bills in my hand and said "this is just for you, thanks so much". I was shocked. The boat tickets had cost them only 10% of that tip. It was so very nice. And so unusual, it never happened to me again. Unfortunately I wasn't sure if other colleagues had seen it and the company policy was to hand in tips so that they could be equally shared over all the employees. I did and got 20 euro in the end. I still regret handing it in 😂
But anyway, Hungarians also still feel the aftereffects of the old communist Iron Curtain days, our tour guide said. Most Hungarians grew up with it all, especially those over the age of 40. He told about the paranoia and madness under the Soviets, and about the sort of state control people lived under. Russians employing millions of Hungarians to spy on their own countrymen. Documents being written of everyone's comings and goings. People did not know who they could trust in life. People were literally wired, observed and tracked. There were spies everywhere, the walls had ears and many people became utterly paranoid. It may have negatively affected the spirit of the people in the long run. Plus the communist credo meant that many people were kept pretty poor (except for the party leaders themselves of course, and their friends).The coffee houses were great, the food different from what I'm used to with cabbage, potatoes, lots of goulash (beef with paprika) or chicken covered in paprika sauce. They have lso lángos: a fried flatbread with sour cream and cheese. It sounds good, but was quite greasy and salty and not really my thing. 🙂 I did love the bakeries and the sweet pies and confectionary. We also visited the old city zoo. it was very old and in part charming. But the lonely lions, tiger and polar bear pacing around bored or manically in their small enclosures left me sad. It kind of ruined the whole experience. Not the sort of zoo I had expected to be open legally still in Europe. The smaller animals seemed happy enough though.
And will you believe this! I had been so disciplined and cautious with my money. Careful about potential pickpocketing, careful not to spend a fortune on food and excursions etc. When at the airport again at the end of the trip, I wanted to spend the last Hungarian pocket money on drinks. When trying to pay at the cash, it turned out I didn't have enough spare coins after all for everything, so some items had to be taken off again. I was fussing with the money and in the end we went to sit at a table a fair bit away. After about 15 minutes a man comes up to our table and shows the envelope, asking if this is ours! I almost had a heart attack. So kind, he had seen it lying on the counter of the little food stall and had asked the saleswoman what the people who it belonged to had ordered, so he could check if we were still around. So very nice. In all the consternation I had completely forgotten to take this brown envelope in which I stored my money, which was at that time 450 euro. The man even asked me even to count the money to see if everything was still in there. The money was still all inside and I gave him 80 euro finders prize. Phew!! It left me shaken as I usually three-double check if I don't forget something or leave any belongings behind, as I'm pretty scatterbrained. I wouldn't have realised I lost the cash until we had landed and I would need to use those euro's I think. I would have probably assumed I had been pickpocketed in the metro or bus to the airport...
DOLL STORY
Maybe you appreciate these video interviews like I do. They are filmed in the USA (I believe it is San Diego, but it may be another big city in the States). I only now and then check her channel, but recently I did and watched a couple of videos. So this woman of the project interviews all sorts of city people and asks them confronting, thought-provoking questions. I do like to watch them at times, because it is real. The people interviewed are often very honest in their answers and it reminds me that even though my (health) problems may seem to myself way bigger than the daily issues of many other people, you cannot really think like that. People often carry all sorts of pain and trauma along with them. They may look fabulous and polished and in control on the outside, but we cannot know what they carry inside, unless we ask them. Maybe you can also relate to some of these three short videos. I upload both the direct Youtube link plus a separate lesser quality version on this blog site, in case the content maker ever decides to remove the Youtube videos there. In these three short videos the following questions are posed: "What do you miss most about yourself", "What's the loneliest you have ever felt". "What's the most painful thing you have been told."
I showed them to a friend from Australia (who also has rosacea) and they said some thoughtful things about them I thought. "Oh wow Nat, what a question to ask someone and it makes you really think deeply about it. "What do you miss most about yourself?" I know both you and I can really relate to a question like "what do you miss about yourself". Wow, I know I can really get into that and answer that, but I normally probably don't think about it much. Interesting how some people have very deep and reflective answers, while others are a little on the superficial side, and some are quite sad. eg the poor girl who cut herself. Lots tend to lose the confidence it seems. Lots of depression and trauma and these people are still so young. Interesting answer by one guy. He misses having the external motivation of pleasing someone (probably his parents) and making them proud no doubt. He obviously is struggling to find motivation or direction."What's the loneliest you have ever felt" Another deep question pushing you to really open up and be honest. Yes, Nat, you are right, they are very honest. Wow, this bloke is quite young and he has already lived 4 years in a homeless shelter. Isn't it f...... sad that someone could lose friends or family for coming out as gay or bisexual. No wonder some commit suicide, knowing that they fear losing people they love just for being gay, just for being themselves. It must be so paralysing for them. Poor man. Grew up without a proper family so he says he has always felt lonely. Poor man! "What's the most painful thing you have been told" Wow, this makes you really think. Deep question as well. I can tell that this kid is wise. He is correct about words having power. My god Nat, so emotional and I am getting teary eyed for them. And one thing I have noticed or what is noticeable with these videos is that there is so much pain JUST below the surface with a lot of people. Just a question can trigger pain and emotion with so many who are obviously walking around with a lot of pain and suffering. It is really quite sad! Thing is too, as you get older, you realise how important words can be or how they can form your childhood. I remember specific things that are said that had an impact on me and you never forgot them. And here is a PERFECT example of this woman never forgetting and it obviously affected her with her mum telling her that "you will never be an artist" when she was in kindergarten. Wonderful and thought provoking videos Nat. And often very sad."
DOLLAs for myself, there is one memory (or lack of memory, more like) that still sticks with me. My aunt once accused me of stealing a new Barbie doll of my niece. I was about 9 or 10 years old. We had visited them and my niece and I had played with her dolls all day, including her new Skipper, her big pride. Then back at home the aunt called my parents and said that the new doll was missing and that they believed I had stolen it. I was really upset and offended by that. They stuck to their guns and it even cooled my mum and aunt's relationship for a while. The worst part is this: I later remembered that story again and I suddenly started to question and even doubt my own memory! I kept thinking: COULD I have taken that Barbie in fact? And have my mind playing tricks and having me forget it?? Could I theoretically have hidden it somewhere? Where would I have hidden it then? Under my sweater in the car ride back home? In one of the compartiment shelves under my bed? Can my brain have played games on me? It is a terrible feeling because obviously I have no idea now anymore. I just know I was angry and upset by the accusation at the time and given how much I always have been upset by injustice, I think it was a lie by my niece and she told her mum this. The possible context may be that we were in the process of move to their village and I would go to my nieces school and class. She had already shown kids in class a photo of her niece (me) and apparently some boys had made comments about me looking pretty. While my niece was chubby at the time (she later developed debilitating anorexia). I wonder if she hid the doll herself to make me look bad out of jealousy. BUT that doll was never found again. And because I went over this memory a lot in the past, I even started to doubt my own recollections at some point. And thinking about it later in life made me also doubt if those 'what if' imaginary scenarios may over time have blended into reality (and thus me doubting my own experience at the time even more). It is terrible, it really made me doubt myself for some time.
I have long been doubting and pondering about whether or not to include this topic on this blog. It is supposed to deal with rosacea and flushing after all. And then some day to day life updates, which did veer away from rosacea over time I realize. It is also a gruesome topic and a controversial one. But I just feel strongly about this I suppose, so here it goes. Feel free to skip, as always. The topic has become almost emblematic: Do You support the Underdog or the "Oppressor"? Are you as a white "privileged" person an enforcer of 'Apartheid' or of poor struggling people? Are you in favour of 'Zionism' or 'Freedom Fighters'? There is bias and polarization even in these formulations alone. Everything has become so black/white and ideological today. I have multiple friends who support Palestine and I'd say that applies to the majority of my friends and family in fact. I have defended Palestine for years myself and openly criticized Israel's settlement politics. But after the October 7th attack, I feel slightly differently about this.
I remember debating with fellow students in my uni days about the IRA and the ETA: is it morally acceptable for 'Freedom Fighters' (wanting their own state etc) to blow up innocent civilians? With all that youthful audacity I used to defend the Yes camp. As higher goals trump individual losses and because peaceful protests and non-anarchistic negotiations brings splinter groups nowhere, I thought. ETA was a paramilitary and armed terrorist Basque separatist movement which followers killed over 800 people since the 1960's. And in 2004, right in the middle of my university days, Partida Popular bombed a train in Madrid, Spain and blew 193 innocent souls to smithereens and injured over 2000 people. It was the news of the day. It did not really achieve much. The IRA had their own list of bloodshed. I dated a Scottish guy at the time who was from Catholic Irish descend and a Celtic supporter... so the IRA was lauded. And hotly debated. But I was willing at the time to see the necessity of making casualties in order to be taken seriously in your quest, as a separatist party.
So anyway, despite in the past always debating in favour of Palestine, what happened on October 7th in Israel is a total horror show. The mainstream media zoomed in on these atrocities for only a few days, after which the narrative quickly shifted to the Palestinian cause, skipping over the 7/10 atrocities. That's why I feel like posting the below videos of how that day unfolded, in all its gruesomeness and anxiety. Because the current military attack of Israel in Gaza, does not stand on itself or fell out of the sky. I saved every bit of footage I could find about it all and edited some of it into some longer videos for you to see, if you can stomach it. (Although it does not include the worst footage or testimonies, among which gang raping girls to death, cutting them open while alive, stabbing and shooting them in their private parts and burning scores of people to death). These crimes were all documented after all; both by real time victims and surprisingly also by the proud Hamas terrorists themselves. Not even the Nazi's bragged or gleefully documented their crimes. They tried to hide it at the time. But here we have 'Freedom Fighters' with GoPro's, live streaming their killing and torture spree. Just like Isis used to do. I wonder if the people who so fervently attack Jewish citizens now in our West for the actions of Israel, have the guts to watch the footage of the 7/10 atrocities. Instead of ignoring it or pretending the massacre of over 1200 civilians among whom 360 music festival goers, is 'fake news'. And while I do understand and support wishes for a ceasefire, people should understand that Hamas has to release the 100+ hostages they still hold in Gaza, among whom many children and youngsters.
Compilation video I of the start of the attack HERE (for some reason it is embedded and loaded into this post when viewing it on my laptop, but my tablet seems to block the video from running. I suspect it gets blocked by blogger, despite not being graphic in nature. See this direct link in that case).
Or watch it HERE on youtube if you have an account there because of age restriction.
Compilation video II of some of the actual cruelties inflicted (trigger warning for sure) is separately uploaded HERE due to it's distressing nature.
Or watch it HERE on youtube if you have an account there because of age restriction.
Compilation video II of some of the actual cruelties inflicted (trigger warning for sure) is separately uploaded HERE due to it's distressing nature.
III Some of the victims:
Gruesome, and this is the sort of military activism I no longer can defend at my age. So the western media has fairly quickly started skipping over the absolute brutality of these October 7 attacks or the remaining hostage crisis. Focusing instead on Israel's brutal return attack, of which they did inform the residents of Gaza beforehand (people were warned of the impending attack through hundreds of thousands of leaflets being thrown out of planes for instance, and by repeated public requests from the Israeli army to leave town or certain areas). But that of course meant for hundreds of thousands of people to pack up and move. To where? To another corner of Gaza, with all the humanitarian tragics to follow. Not great to read about, to be honest. Brazen, some could say. To uproot so many innocent people and destroy so much housing and infrastructure, in order to kill these Hamas terrorists. The Mossad did it a it more subtle after the Munich atrocity. And this approach is not fair for the Palestinian innocent civilians. They may live, but their lives are entirely uprooted and their houses may be demolished. (I don't even dare to bring up the situation for their poor pets). Israel believes that it is in a state of war since 7/10 and that it has the right to defend itself. By destroying Hamas and eliminating its members and their infrastructure. And unfortunately Hamas has built intricate and massive tunnel systems right under the inhabited world in Gaza, including hospitals and schools (video proof of this has been shared and was covered by the BBC among other channels). Storing weapons in houses and hospitals and then saying that Israel kills innocent civilians during its strikes. But Israel's 'self defense' looks more like a huge attack today. Of course, eliminating Hamas has been made as difficult as possible by them. Hamas does not seem to care that much for its own citizens either. Hundreds of Hamas rockets have already been fired from civilian structures, including mosques, schools and hospitals. An estimated 12% of those rockets fired by Hamas have fallen short inside Gaza. Killing their own people. Does Hamas count on the escalating numbers of civilians to sway public opinion? You start to wonder if normal thinking people in the west can perhaps simply not believe this because they (luckily) cannot think this way? And can only - deep down - assume that everybody has the same hopes and dreams that we free westerners do. Making excuses for jihadists, in effect. Some vocal Americans for instance try to dismiss or even justify Hamas' calculated bloodshed, but don’t seem to understand the logic and the reality of Islamist religious fundamentalist ideology. Like other Jihadi groups (ISIS, PIJ, Hezbollah) there is little that can be done to reconcile Western values with an ideology that is fatalistic and violent. Yes, every innocent death in Gaza is horrible, but you can't have it both ways. And this is not an unprovoked attack from Israel on Hamas, who went out to kill, rape and butcher as many civilians as possible in their kamikaze burst of terror.
So now the next thing happened: thousands of students from especially Ivy League American universities were stimulated by teachers to go out and march and protest for Palestine. In the process attacking and threatening (innocent) Jewish students. Calling Hamas proud Freedom Fighters and supporting its barbaric fundamentalism at times even. Below you see a professor in Vancouver leading a cheer for "the amazing and brilliant offensive waged on October 7". I can't believe what I am hearing. How this has been allowed on top universities (including Harvard and Penn State) is frankly a little bit shocking, and not at all a fair and nuanced take:
Other professors also spoke publicly about their "elation'" and happiness after finding out about the 7/10 horror show. How are these people still teaching in this time of cancel culture? It looks like that one only works to kick out conservatives? So on the one hand there are countless 'microaggressions', and misgendering equals violence. But real violence and rape are seen to be a valid form of resistance? The hypocrisy and double standards are interesting. Palestinians have grounds for complaints and sympathy, but to see legions of plush students in the free West revolt the way they do and attack Jewish students over this... Uhm? What if the Israeli army had similarly started all this by slaughtering innocent Palestinians in their homes and during dance parties in such a fashion? More than 1200 of them in one go? A well-prepared mission, solely aimed at raping, killing, burning alive and kidnapping as many young people and families as possible in Gaza? We wouldn't hear the end of it on our news. Israel does kill innocent civilians of course, but in wars the innocent people are always seen as collateral damage, unfortunately. What is even more bizarre to me, is to see minorities who are oppressed and often even killed in a place like Gaza going out with flags stating 'Allah loves Queers' and rainbow coloured 'Allah loves Equality' flags. Are these people not aware of the human rights crises for minorities in many Middle Eastern countries and certainly under Hamas? Isn't this the age of information? Or have we become so decadent here that people simply are too ignorant to appreciate what freedoms they have been born into? Just as absurd: American 'influencers' who suddenly came out supporting Osama Bin Laden... Wtf? Hamas are a group of religious zealots and fundamentalist people who oppress women, who sentence homosexuals to death or simply chuck them off roofs of houses, justifying their deeds with the Quran. Palestinians voted in majority for Hamas during the 2006 elections; a militant terrorist organization who proudly list it as their aim for jihadis to wipe Israel and all the Israelis off the face of the earth. No equal rights for women and girls, no rights for transgenders and homosexuals. You get the gist. When they say over and over who they are, believe them:
At the same time, Netanyahu has consistently undermined the peace process himself by rapidly advancing settlements in the West Bank, harassing Palestinians at Al Aqsa, curtailing the freedom of gazans, sometimes taking civilians' lives there and by forming a coalition government with the most far-right ethno-nationalists ever to hold power in Israel. Even though many in the Israeli Left and Center wish to see those settlements in the West Bank stopped or dismantled. And yes, from the perspective of Palestinians there was indeed a big injustice in 1948. There is so much to say about that, but I've always said in discussions with friends that nations cannot just throw families who's ancestors lived there for centuries off a large plot of land. Which did happen. It was followed by centuries of "small" aggressions by Israel, also while a two-state solution was in sight or seemed achievable. But on the other hand, Palestinians have started wars with Israel themselves and lost them all. Now Hamas refuses to negotiate entirely, and (also) consistently seeks the destruction of Israel. They want all their old land back and for Israel to stop existing. This will never happen.. Israel on the other hand has allowed Palestinians to live and work in its country. One in five inhabitants of Israel is Arabic. Many Israeli hospitals have Arabic doctors working there. Many stores in Israel are owned by Arabs too, especially in Jeruzalem. I'm sure there is some level of discrimination against them, but in contrast you will find no Jews in Palestine. In 2005 Sharon removed 9000 Jews from Gaza. Hamas took over and ruined that area for all its inhabitants and armed itself to the teeth. Many Arabs are also said to be raised with the hatred of Jews. Feminist and politician Ayaan Hirsi Ali wrote a fascinating article about growing up in Jew hating indoctrination. No one wants to say it, but I’m sure many Gazans hold radical views, not just against Israel but against the Jewish people in general and the western world itself.It is since Hamas came in power (and quickly got rid of all the opposition, either banishing or killing them) and who since 2006 did not allow new elections, that Israel really started to say: Ok, we have a neighbour here who is structurally unwilling to come to an agreement. A neighbour who is dead set on destroying us and kidnapping and killing our people and shooting off rockets at us. A neighbour who is barbaric and non-democratic. Who impoverishes its own people while the Hamas big shots reside in rich Arab countries, not in 'open air prison' Gaza, mind you. Because that's how it goes, they also let the suicide bombing be done by the peasants, promising them a few dozen virgins and martyrdom in exchange. And Israel had enough of the rocket attacks and closed the border and controlled it vehemently.
Of course the Israeli counter attack is now killing scores of innocent civilians in Gaza, which is terrible and should not happen. It is total overkill, literally and figuratively. But it is also a complex situation. This topic can be reduced to one massive chicken or egg circle debate: did Israel start dismantling Hamas because they first slaughtered innocent Israelis on 7/10? Or did Hamas do this to somehow avenge what they believe Israel has done to them by controlling the borders of Gaza and making life very hard for Palestinians? Shooting with bullets at stone throwing youths? But didn't Israel start doing that áfter Palestinians voted Hamas into power, who have attacked Israel with rockets for many years already and who have it as their prime (written) aim to push Israel and all Israelis into the sea? Does having such a violent and revengeful neighbour, who openly claims to want to destroy and murder you, give grounds for heightened border control and assassination of violent Gazans? Why was Hamas voted in power in the first place? Did Gazans perhaps simply have enough of the sneaky and slow-paced land stealing by Israel, with their ever growing settlements and their objectionable settlement politics? Or is it because people hold onto the injustice of forefathers having been chased off their land to establish the state of Israel there in the 1940's? It were the majority of the member states of the United Nations who decided that the state of Israel should be established in 1948. The immense horrors of the Holocaust and western guilt may have played a role in this decision. The region of current Israel was not chosen willy-nilly. In antiquity it was for centuries home to several Canaanite, Israelite and Jewish kingdoms (it is referred to as the Land of Israel in Jewish tradition). But territories have throughout history often been claimed by others and changed nationalities or identity. This region was ruled by powers such as the Assyrians, Babylonians, Achaemenids, Greeks and the Romans. Jews over time became a minority in the region. It later came under Arab rule. Wiki: "The late 19th century saw the rise of Zionism, a movement advocating for the establishment of a Jewish homeland. Under the British Mandate placed by the League of Nations after World War I, Jewish immigration to the region increased considerably leading to intercommunal conflict between Jews and the Arab majority. The UN-approved 1947 partition plan triggered a civil war between these groups which would see the expulsion or fleeing of most Palestinians from Mandate Palestine. The British terminated the Mandate on 14 May 1948, and Israel declared independence on the same day."
Jews lived on that land for a very long time in the old days, before being expelled themselves. Modern day Israel was a stretch of largely uncultivated desert land in the 1940's, and the people living there were compensated (somewhat...). All the way back in the 1930s, Palestinian Arabs were offered a one state solution if they agreed to absorb a Jewish minority with equal rights. They said no. There were many iterations of this offer until 1947. Nevertheless it was an injustice for the Arabic people living there at the time, who were expulsed off the land of their forefathers, and not enough compensated probably. This is the root of the wars and troubles of the next 76 years, and counting. But Jews have been persecuted and chased around the globe for thousands of years themselves. Pogroms and ghetto's are not a thing from the 1940's alone. As my dad used to say: the Jews will not let this happen another time and defend their country tooth and nail. As they probably should. As I said, Palestinians have obstructed many peace plans and two-state deal proposals. You can find information online if interested. And it is depressing to see how unwilling Palestinians today are to coexist with Israel. When they say "occupation" they tend to refer to all of Israel's territory, not just the West Bank and Gaza. And "end the occupation" means the end of Israel. Dishearteningly; the few who say they are willing to accept two states tend to be older Palestinians.
So is Israel wrong now to destroy Hamas and its infrastructure in Gaza? It surely is causing a lot of damage in the process. But criticism from the United States for instance feels hypocritical. The USA went after Saddam and Iraq after all in the 9/11 era. Even though Iraq and Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11. And they destroyed and destabilized the entire region. They even created the fake report about discovering 'weapons of mass destruction' there, which later turned out to be a complete fabrication to justify that war. The USA bombed the hell out of the Middle East, which we in Europe also still feel the aftereffects of, with the massive immigration streams it caused and suicide attacks of course. Not to speak of the total destabilization of the Middle East and the space created for horror groups like ISIS. All for what, some more oil? Better hold on the dollar as trading currency? Strategic benefits? So it is a bit crass coming from some Americans now that Israel should just allow this to happen. Without avenging or destroying at least the monsters responsible. On the other hand; I also get that none of this is going to help in the long run and that the ongoing suffering of Palestinians will only create more future Jihadi's. What a nightmare. But as for morality: as Ben Shapiro also debates in the video below: can there be a case made here to distinguish between Hamas deliberately going into civilian areas and murdering everyone they can find, versus Israel attempting to target terrorists and accidentally killing civilians? (Although I don't believe this in fact happens 'accidentally' IDF. More like a calculated acceptance of massive collateral damage on the Gazans' side, which is certainly open for hefty criticism I think). Shapiro claims that this is nothing new in wars. And that during WW2 for instance, entire cities in Germany were bombed by the Allies, notwithstanding all the innocent civilians living there.
I don't think there should be a tirade aimed at Israel's counterattack on Hamas without first and foremost starting the explicit recognition and denouncement of the 7/10 atrocities. Which barely happens. There are usually no 100% heroes vs 100% villains in life and no total Right vs Wrong. Not even Saddam Hussein was a total villain and the world saw what happens when you take a strong dictator like him out of a country made up of enemy tribes, held together by such a ruler. So then there are arguments to be made against the overwhelming force that is being used now by Israel to destroy Hamas. I also don't think this is the best way to go about. There are scores of innocent victims on Palestinian side (I don't believe the Hamas controlled ministries and their statistics persé, but it is clear that the destruction in Gaza is gigantic). Some would compare it to killing a bunch of flies with an elephant gun. And this widespread suffering in Gaza is not going to help to build a more peaceful and tolerant new young generation. But then again: over a hundred mostly young Israelis are still being held hostage by Hamas in Gaza and Hamas leaders have blood on their hands. And we hear barely anything about them anymore in the western press. Totally forgotten and overshadowed by the gazan narrative. A Hamas leader has openly admitted in a New York Times interview that they (residing safely in Qatar) don't want a two state system and planned these terror attacks willingly and knowingly. Knowing full well what the Israeli response would be if they went ahead with their long-prepared torture and death squad attack on October 7th. And they did it anyway. And therefore sacrificed innocent Israeli citizens as well as their own innocent Gaza citizens, for their own twisted political objectives. Hamas leaders openly admitted in this NYT interview that two states will not satisfy them. They will only be satisfied by the destruction of Israel. And that Palestinian lives are subordinate to the Palestinian cause, which needed to be brought back in the limelight. Khalil al-Hayya said: “We had to tell people that the Palestinian cause would not die.” At the expense of Palestinian lives. “We had to destroy the village to save it”. This acknowledgment that the Palestinian cause was slipping away is pivotal. Hamas brought that topic back on the international agenda, at the expense of thousands of innocent lives lost. Please let that sink in.. As Cory Booker said during his tour of Israel on the evening of October 6 of 2023: a good chunk of the Middle East was more or less heading for peace at that time. And Saudi Arabia was on the verge of normalizing relations with Israel. This would further push the Palestinian agenda to the background. It’s such a shame that Hamas cynically concluded its only option was such an egregious attack, to undermine that peace process and restore Palestine's relevance.
So; a new normal was developing in 2023, with Israel's hegemony over the region increasing and the Palestinian plight forgotten. The thawing of relations between the West and the Arab world forced Hamas (in Hamas' view..) to act. And it had effect, in a cynical way. But at what cost? This Hamas attack was probably also instigated by Iran, who's Ayatollahs have the destruction of Israel at the centre of their theology. Iran who is also trying to block normalization between Israel and Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries. That may be why Hezbollah (also an Iran proxy) has also fired thousands of rockets and missiles into Israel since 7/10. But Hamas is a Sunni-based theological group that has used violence every step of the way to drive their agenda (i.e. thwarting the Oslo accords with suicide bombers in Israel, violently taking over Gaza from the PA, trying to implement their heinous "from the river to the sea" philosophy). Hamas has been consistently forthright about its aim to destroy Israel and its lack of interest in a negotiated solution. This is a complex history and situation, gen Z'ers. Not something TikTok will educate you about in one minute.
Although Israel is in some ways the oppressor, they also withdrew from Gaza in 2005. Israel's aim was to leave the Palestinians alone to govern themselves under Hamas. Within two years, Israel closed its borders with Gaza to prevent infiltration by Hamas into Israel. But also to isolate Hamas and to prevent arms from being smuggled into Gaza. Egypt in the south also closed its (Rafah) border in 2007. They do not want any Hamas militaries in their country either, nor risk being held accountable by Israel for any missiles they could theoretically shoot off from Egyptian soil. And I don't understand why the Palestinians think Hamas has anything to offer. There are often Israelis in the media criticizing their own country and government, but where are the Palestinians criticizing Hamas? Where are the Palestinian voices saying the population needs to push Hamas out and that nothing good will ever come from them and their eternal death wish? Even now they continue their deafening silence. Why? The answer seems obvious. Hamas jails and kills dissenters. There is no free speech where they rule. Palestinians either support them or are silent, due to being terrorized. Hamas' goal is vengeance and not justice. Instead of dialog they use murder. As flawed as it is, Israel is a liberal democracy. Although they are also a super power in terms of riches, intelligence, military force and diplomatic power. I don't think Israel is playing things 'fairly' all the time either. But Palestinians voted to support a radical Islamic theocracy. That radicalism is why the Palestinian Authority (who abolished free elections) is so weak. The pervasiveness of that radicalism in the Middle East is why Iran was able to destroy Lebanon through Hezbollah. Groups and factions like ISIS, Al Qaeda, Hamas and other jihadists aren’t popping up out of nowhere. It’s also in part why the West supports Israel: to be a stabilizing force to the region. Although they are not doing a good job at the moment, with the death and destruction now caused in Gaza in retaliation 😔And killing civilians and creating future martyrs there will not help this situation. But Hamas has a perverted world view, for viewing the sacrifice of its citizens as a great political victory. Hundreds of millions of western aid dollars ended up in those Hamas tunnels, instead of with the poor people of Gaza. These investments made by Hamas in acquisition of arms, in the development of the bunker systems and in the training in warfare are signifying their accumulated and planned investment in a culture of warfare. Not in helping its people survive in their basic human needs, or enriching the land of Gaza, or use it for investments in healthcare or technology for instance. It also reflects a long-term decision to not seek peace. Hamas does not really care about the direct needs of the Palestinians. If they did, they would have used the hundreds of millions in aid they’ve received (if not more; according to Wikipedia $40 billion in aid was given to Palestine between 1994 and 2020) to provide a meaningful way of life for the civilians living in the Gaza Strip. Hamas took untold riches and invested it in their war machinery, instead of building a modern infrastructure and educating and caring for the population of Gaza in a meaningful way. That should anger the Free West.
Twenty years ago (even 10 years ago) the majority of people in the west would have been undividedly horrified by what the brutal fundamentalists of Hamas have done. And by what they self-recorded as evidence. Hamas is very canny. It has co-opted language used by the progressive left to justify the mass slaughter of 1200+ people and to excuse a war that has left many thousands of Palestinians dead. Lefties who would not have a life in Palestine under Hamas, mind you, as one of the above videos from the Al-Aqsa Mosque speech showed. Nowadays the more outspoken groups in the western world seem largely divided in two polarizing groups, who seem unable or unwilling to juggle more than one opinion at the same time. 'Palestine is oppressed by colonisers', end of discussion. The atrocities committed to babies, children and innocent families are simply ignored or cast aside as misinformation. And some aren't even up to date with the 7/10 attack itself. How embarrassing are these students.. So they first go to a political rally for a Free Palestine in the midst of Israel attacking as a result of the 7/10 horrors... but then say they have no clue basically that happened and 'first need to be a bit more clued up on everything that's going on'. Peculiar order of things, and does this then show that they are sheep who blindly sided with what the majority of their fellow students went out marching for? And the other student is possibly even worse. When asked about her initial reaction when finding out about the 7/10 attack, she says: "I don't believe they did, did they..?" 👇😕😲That being said, Israel are acting like war criminals right now (some will say they ARE war criminals), bulldozing parts of Gaza and killing many more civilians by now than were killing by Hamas on 7/10. It is a scandal really how long this counterattack has been going on now and just how many civilians have died. Next they aim for Iran and we're all at risk of deep world-felt trouble. It makes me suspicious about the reports that Israel and its military were warned beforehand about the impending 7/10 attack. Not saying they allowed this to happen, that is the most cynical and horrible conclusion/assumption. But by now it looks like the counterattack by Israel is about destroying all of Gaza, not just weeding out the Hamas terrorists responsible for the 7/10 massacre. Lebanon and Hezbollah mat be next. And many countries in Europe and I suspect the USA as well are not in a position to be able to make Israel stop. I understand the anger about this.
I understand the protests, asking attention for the innocent victims now in both Israel and Gaza. But not the wave of antisemitism is rolling over us also at the moment. I saw footage of loud, masked people proudly celebrating the 7/10 massacre in a subway in the USA, demanding on camera if the Jewish passengers onboard can make themselves known, so that they can be harassed. And TikTok is happy to publish the footage. Hashtag brave. Why are innocent people worldwide held responsible for the actions of some Palestinians or some Israelis? That one works both ways. Being critical of the current military actions from Israel, or of their kibbutz politics, or even of Israel's history is one thing, but attacking Jews all over the world, or looking for excuses to defend these war crimes of Hamas is not ok. And when you go down the slippery slide of 'whataboutism', there is always some 'excuse'. Next we're supposed to tolerate honour killings because of "Islam interpretation" or because of some Family Dispute. It is a difficult conflict and there is not one Heroic side and one Villainous side. Hamas and what it has done to its people should be properly understood and not be superficially cheered in the free West. Below is a video of a comedian making light of the moral dilemma in the West over this conflict. I hope there will be a deal made pronto and an end made to innocent people's lives being taken, on both sides.
THIS IS WHAT HAMAS DOES
Songs of the day
October 1, 2023
I saw a beautiful and interesting documentary on Arte about Nicolas de Staël. It only has French or German subtitles/language though.
Some art works from him below:
Songs of the day
September 26, 2023
The summer has been pretty miserable to be honest. I don't like summers and never did. The unrelenting sun, the oceans of free time and listlessness. Friends enjoying endless afternoons on the waterside, while I have to avoid the sun. I don't even enjoy the long days or the short shadows. Am an Autumn person. Even before developing rosacea I was happy when the summer holiday ended and we could all go back to school. Nowadays with rosacea, on sunny summer days I am mostly stuck in the house with the air-conditioning running and a fan on. I honestly switch my day and night rhythm in the summer months, staying up and working with the windows open until 4 AM easily. Then sleeping in and not getting up before noon. Because what's the point of getting up at 8 am when the day is just one big prison? I go for walks through town when the temperatures drop and the sun is down. It is what it is...
My skin has not been great this summer. The skin flushing is kind of controllable nowadays due to lifestyle adaptations and my anti flushing medication regime. Although when the temperature goes up I flush much more easily. So when at home I run the air-conditioning and sleep/work with a desktop clip on fan running. And I have a collection of eight neck fans also, for when I go out. Some are powerful (my favourite one is this one), others are sleek and resemble headphones. I bring at least one of those neck fans when I go out for a walk or a bicycle ride, when I travel or when I meet people in public. On a good skin day I can go without the neck fan for a bit usually, but as soon as my cheeks start to feel hot and that tingling feeling starts, which usually precedes a big flush, then I put the fan on. They are perfect. My Australian friend uses hers as well when out and about and even had hers running when she had a university meeting. People right in front of you tend to notice that it is a fan, but people around you doing their own thing barely ever pay attention or realise. These fans make a very faint sound also, which is great.
Like previous summers, the warm weather combined with my elevated facial skin temperature has caused a skin rash in 2023 as well. Unfortunately. My darm last year thought it was a regular rosacea outbreak, but I know that it is directly related to my poor facial skin barrier function, which causes heat rash and cold urticaria once the outside temperature gets either too warm or very cold (winter). I tried to control the temperature enough to avoid the red rashes this time around, but only managed to control them a bit more than last summer. I usually just put zinc oxide paste/cream on the skin eruptions and wait until they go away again. But waking up with red dots on the cheeks is just another level of rosacea misery for me tbh. Normally the cheek I sleep on is much more pale than the other cheek (when sleeping on my side). But in the summer months I need to sleep on my back because the slept on cheek is all red and raised and rashy the next day. I think from the heat: rosacea hot skin + cheek on pillow without air flow from the fan means more heat rash. Both my dermatologists, Doctor Chu and Dr Trost have retired by now, unfortunately. They were older doctors to start with, but had so much knowledge and experience. I kind of stick with their taught routine now and keep delaying the move to find a new derm. I am not sure if it makes any sense to go back to my local hospital. I saw so many local dermatologists in the past and all but one worked with textbook rosacea treatments, which are mostly useless for our subtype 1. Three months of high dose doxycycline ruined my bowel function (have irritable bowel and colitis ever since) and made the flushing also worse while taking those pills.
My skin has not been great this summer. The skin flushing is kind of controllable nowadays due to lifestyle adaptations and my anti flushing medication regime. Although when the temperature goes up I flush much more easily. So when at home I run the air-conditioning and sleep/work with a desktop clip on fan running. And I have a collection of eight neck fans also, for when I go out. Some are powerful (my favourite one is this one), others are sleek and resemble headphones. I bring at least one of those neck fans when I go out for a walk or a bicycle ride, when I travel or when I meet people in public. On a good skin day I can go without the neck fan for a bit usually, but as soon as my cheeks start to feel hot and that tingling feeling starts, which usually precedes a big flush, then I put the fan on. They are perfect. My Australian friend uses hers as well when out and about and even had hers running when she had a university meeting. People right in front of you tend to notice that it is a fan, but people around you doing their own thing barely ever pay attention or realise. These fans make a very faint sound also, which is great. Like previous summers, the warm weather combined with my elevated facial skin temperature has caused a skin rash in 2023 as well. Unfortunately. My darm last year thought it was a regular rosacea outbreak, but I know that it is directly related to my poor facial skin barrier function, which causes heat rash and cold urticaria once the outside temperature gets either too warm or very cold (winter). I tried to control the temperature enough to avoid the red rashes this time around, but only managed to control them a bit more than last summer. I usually just put zinc oxide paste/cream on the skin eruptions and wait until they go away again. But waking up with red dots on the cheeks is just another level of rosacea misery for me tbh. Normally the cheek I sleep on is much more pale than the other cheek (when sleeping on my side). But in the summer months I need to sleep on my back because the slept on cheek is all red and raised and rashy the next day. I think from the heat: rosacea hot skin + cheek on pillow without air flow from the fan means more heat rash. Both my dermatologists, Doctor Chu and Dr Trost have retired by now, unfortunately. They were older doctors to start with, but had so much knowledge and experience. I kind of stick with their taught routine now and keep delaying the move to find a new derm. I am not sure if it makes any sense to go back to my local hospital. I saw so many local dermatologists in the past and all but one worked with textbook rosacea treatments, which are mostly useless for our subtype 1. Three months of high dose doxycycline ruined my bowel function (have irritable bowel and colitis ever since) and made the flushing also worse while taking those pills.
I can't put anything on my skin, other than washing it with gentle bottled water. At the moment I use Voss water, which is very soft water and is delivered in a glass bottle, as I don't want plastic residue on my skin either if possible. So dermatological creams and potions only made things worse for me in the past. I use a very pure zinc oxide cream for spot treatment on blemishes or small pimples and that's about it. I have been lucky that twenty years of zero skin care didn't cause me massive wrinkles, yet (I will be 44 in a few weeks time). I doubt the dermatological community would be able to find volunteers for such a trial, but due to circumstances I had no other choice really. Ideally flushers and burners like me would need a team of doctors; a dermatologist, an allergist, an immunologist, a neurologist.. Or even better: just one doctor who knows about all these specialities and can address all those aspects of vascular, neurological rosacea. But they are near impossible to find.Then there is also my ankle, which is still not 100% back to normal. But it is getting there. I can walk as normal now and even exercise again, but not at the same intensity as before, so am still feeling a little bit of a slob. But it was a nightmare to have to travel with assistance when I was still hobbling around on crutches. Thank god that is over. Once and hopefully never again, if I can avoid it. It feels miserable to need help with the simplest of things. I now really appreciate the simple act of walking without pain. I had made reservations already for a trip to the Faroe Islands, in May this year. But given the treacherous landscape there I had to cancel, as my ankle was still not good. Bummer.. May go to Budapest instead near the end of this year. I also am in my early forties now and like female friends my same age I am getting peri menstrual symptoms, slowly but surely. Periods that aren't precisely on time, more hair loss than usual (clumps of hair in my brush or in the shower). Perhaps the start of mini hot flashes at night, although this is hard to be sure of in the midst of summer when I want to throw all the blankets off anyway. My mum is in her late sixties and has struggled with hot flashes quite badly for the past 15 (!) years. I am glad in a way that I already take mirtazapine at a low dose and clonidine, which both should theoretically help with menopausal hot flashes. I hope that I won't get it too bad myself 🙏🤞
If you are feeling tired and overwhelmed yourself today, my advice would be to pick one task and then choose something that brings you joy to do afterwards. Get your favorite drink. Go for a walk. Do something that truly has your interest. Have a nap. Meet a nice person. Watch your favorite tv show. Whatever you need to do to get through the day because life is not easy with a chronic illness. But we have to choose to see the magic under the bulls**t, regardless of how shitty in can be. Keep in mind that on social media most people present glossy PR highlight versions of their own lives. Find things that move you and help you grow. Life is a long journey and not always fair or *fun*. But we do grow personally from adapting to misadventure and from not always making the right choices. And I think that's the narrative we should be telling, not some fantasy love story that no one (or at least, not many) can or will achieve. And that's a hard lesson I have had to learn over and over. But there are people who make it worth it and there are animals who deserve our love, books to be read, sports to be enjoyed, travels to be made. I lost my middle sister almost twenty years ago to a missed appendicitis and ever since it is strangely easier for me to just be content with being alive and making it through the years with as much enjoying moments and acceptance of things as possible.
If you are feeling tired and overwhelmed yourself today, my advice would be to pick one task and then choose something that brings you joy to do afterwards. Get your favorite drink. Go for a walk. Do something that truly has your interest. Have a nap. Meet a nice person. Watch your favorite tv show. Whatever you need to do to get through the day because life is not easy with a chronic illness. But we have to choose to see the magic under the bulls**t, regardless of how shitty in can be. Keep in mind that on social media most people present glossy PR highlight versions of their own lives. Find things that move you and help you grow. Life is a long journey and not always fair or *fun*. But we do grow personally from adapting to misadventure and from not always making the right choices. And I think that's the narrative we should be telling, not some fantasy love story that no one (or at least, not many) can or will achieve. And that's a hard lesson I have had to learn over and over. But there are people who make it worth it and there are animals who deserve our love, books to be read, sports to be enjoyed, travels to be made. I lost my middle sister almost twenty years ago to a missed appendicitis and ever since it is strangely easier for me to just be content with being alive and making it through the years with as much enjoying moments and acceptance of things as possible..jpg)
Oppenheimer
I have been to the cinema recently and hadn't been there for what seems like ages. But now in summer the cinema hall was nice and cool, so it was pleasant. I went to see Oppenheimer. It is about the 1942 Manhattan Project, aiming to build and test the atomic bomb. Irish actor Cillian Murphy is a favourite of mine and does an incredible job. He is in many Christopher Nolan movies. I recommend the movie! Even though it runs for 3 hours. In structure the movie is a little bit comparable to JFK I thought. Complex storytelling with flashbacks and different intermingling timelines. Easy to follow though. There was a part about Oppenheimer's youth and younger life, a part about the Manhattan Project itself (my favourite part) and then a part about the later McCarthyism years and frantics and how politicians in America tried to ruin him and his legacy. All very interesting and it never felt like a 3 hr movie, it went fast. The pace of this movie never slumps, the magic and magnetisms of the main actors never wavers and for those with a science background there is still enough to enjoy about this movie's fantastic topic.
I have been to the cinema recently and hadn't been there for what seems like ages. But now in summer the cinema hall was nice and cool, so it was pleasant. I went to see Oppenheimer. It is about the 1942 Manhattan Project, aiming to build and test the atomic bomb. Irish actor Cillian Murphy is a favourite of mine and does an incredible job. He is in many Christopher Nolan movies. I recommend the movie! Even though it runs for 3 hours. In structure the movie is a little bit comparable to JFK I thought. Complex storytelling with flashbacks and different intermingling timelines. Easy to follow though. There was a part about Oppenheimer's youth and younger life, a part about the Manhattan Project itself (my favourite part) and then a part about the later McCarthyism years and frantics and how politicians in America tried to ruin him and his legacy. All very interesting and it never felt like a 3 hr movie, it went fast. The pace of this movie never slumps, the magic and magnetisms of the main actors never wavers and for those with a science background there is still enough to enjoy about this movie's fantastic topic.
Core question of the movie seemed to me whether or not the development of the atomic bomb (and later the Hydrogen bomb in extension) was ultimately good or bad for mankind. Oppenheimer had problems with his conscience later on, just like Einstein. But in a way I think: it has put the world in a checkmate chess situation in a way. And that may also be a positive thing? Because quite a few powerful nations have atomic bombs nowadays and even H-bombs and they all know that once one nation seriously start to throw them, they get it back 10-fold and everything will be ruined. That made the cold war super frightening, but by now we can see that the bomb never was thrown again after Hiroshima/Nagasaki. Which was bad enough already. Not to say it won't happen in the 21st century or at some point. But until now it may actually have helped in keeping the peace? A checkmate situation where the risks are high enough to keep even the most rogue nations in check? I am not sure about this though. Still thinking about it. After watching this movie, I also felt a bit of indignation about the way the atomic bomb was used on japan. But that is also how the movie is set up to make you feel. So I have been reading some more about it and have been discussing it a bit and I can also see why America decided to at the time. Not just in light of Pearl Harbour, but also knowing what atrocities the Japanese militaries at the time committed. Very brutal. But innocent civilians remain innocent civilians in the end. And so many innocent civilians died directly or in delayed there in an horrific fashion. Also interesting: the methods that were used to try to frame Oppenheimer as a communist. I knew it was a witch-hunt at the time in the United States, but politicians can be so darn relentless, immoral and corrupt. Nothing changed in that respect. Dirty politics is of all times I suppose.
The sound was very intense. I thought the volume was set too high perhaps. Had to press my ears shut during some of the high sound scenes. But I later read about the Dutch cameraman who often works with Nolan (Hoyte van Hoytema), who stated that they shot the movie on purpose with an analogue instead of a digital camera. Because they want everything - including the sound - to be as life like as possible. Very few computer effects are used. And he says that Nolan's movies in particular should be viewed in cinemas. Because of how immersive the IMAX experience is then. Sound, depth, wide screen: everything is supposed to really draw you in. That doesn't happen to this extent on a smaller screen at home. I cannot for the life of me understand why this gem of a movie was connected in any way to the Barbie vehicle. The only way in which it links is the premiere date I suppose. The fact that Barbie is more political and indoctrinating than Oppenheimer, set partially in the Cold War era, should raise some eyebrows probably.
Barbie movie
Then I watched the totally overhyped, overpromoted 'Barbie' movie through an illegal download. It was mehhhh. The story revolves around Barbie world, where the Barbies rule the roost and have all the jobs and all the perks while the Kens are dumb silly doormats, only living to catch Barbie's attention. When Barbie (actress Margot Robbie) starts to get 'dark thoughts', she is sent to the real world as a form of preventive therapy. She wants to figure out what is going on with the kid who has/controls her doll. There Ken notices that it are the men in fact who rule the (real) world and he is very excited about finally feeling validated as a dude. These ruling men are of course totally unreasonable, sexist pigs. Back in Barbie land he stages a revolt and take-over, but the Barbies don't want to share any of their privileges and quickly return things to the status quo and put the Kens back in their pathetic places. The happy ending of this movie is for the Barbies to fool the Kens out of power and take over control again. Completely. Every job of interest is done by the Barbies again. If that is a reflection of how girls play with their dolls, fair enough. But the endless monologues about the patriarchy seem to point to something else entirely: a troubling message and societal commentary for modern audiences. I know some other movies from the director, Greta Gerwig. Wasn't a big fan of her movies until now (even her Little Women was underwhelming), and this new Barbie movie did not help. I was very confused about her treatment of the Kens. Is their total uselessness and second fiddle playing a representation of how children generally play with their Barbies and Kens? And if so, on whose behalf is the female narrator talking (and preaching..) throughout the movie? Or was this another attempt to make women the heroes of everything and men the villains? It certainly felt like that. I personally didn't mind the lack of diversity of the movie characters that much. Nor the 'privilege' of many of these characters. I don't necessarily expect to see all of society represented in every movie. But the political brainwashing was a bit much.
Barbie was a whiney, empty bore in a CGI hellscape. She wasn't even interesting when she went all Schopenhauer for a bit. There is literally no character development and no redeeming quality to her. The other Barbies were equally saccharine-sweet character stereotypes. One or two were modern Hollywood 'quirky' (aka: annoying). I honestly didn't care enough about any of the characters to give them another thought. There is literally nothing redeeming about any of them either. Funny Ken was basically the saviour of this movie, but was consistently treated like dirt. The Kens in general are portrayed as total losers. I honestly wished that Barbie land remained the way the Kens wanted it to be. With beer and giant TV's and just a bit more fun. I'd have considered that a good ending (just because it would go against the grain of expectations of modern day movies). But even for those few fun scenes we were punished with yet another preachy patriarchy monologue by the all-knowing voice. The core message of this movie seems to be that men rule the real world and women only rule in a world of make-belief. This movie would have perhaps had its merits in the 1950's. When women truly were sent to the kitchen and locked in their houses with a brood of kids and a package of valium. But these days? C'mon now. Many western world women (on the whole) can do anything they want and are given positive discrimination too. More women graduate from university here than men. More women go on to do PhD trajectories. The only reason they stop short of the business top is because most women choose to go part-time once they want to have kids. But not even that is expected of them anymore, it is all a free choice. It's getting tiring to see men cast in the villain role so often suddenly, in recent Hollywood projects. Firstly because it has become a dogma of its own and all the virtue signalling movie makers seem to feel the need to jump on board. Secondly because this type of stereotyping is annoying. Especially when the reality is that many of the men we know and even knew in the past (grandfathers etc) were not at all out to suppress and demean all women. I'd say the Church had a much bigger role in this..jpg)
My dad always talked about how the world would be a peaceful and fair and well-organized place if only WOMEN ruled it. I always disagreed. And now that women do end up in top roles more often we can actually see that no, psychopaths and corrupt rulers are not all male either. Those are human traits (well, traits of some humans). There are great women and there are manipulative, evil and vindictive women out there. Good female rulers and bad ones. They may have less testosterone than men but they have the memory of an elephant when it comes to slights and conflict. But somehow Hollywood is dead-set on hammering the message into young, impressionable viewers that men are and always were evil. It honestly makes me cynical. I mean, never mind that they gave their lives to save the world from the nazi's etc. Men are oppressing women and our fathers, brothers and cousins were equally terrible men who oppressed women. Never mind men like Mahatma Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King, Copernicus, Richard Dawkins, David Attenborough, Oskar Schindler to name a few. Never mind all the men who selflessly fought in wars to defend their countries; who sacrificed their lives to liberate prisoners in the concentration camps: all prime examples of 'oppressive patriarchy'. And let's not forget all those over privileged men who worked in the mines, ruining their 'privileged' lungs. The ones dying on the Titanic because they let women and children use the lifeboats. Such bastards.. Never mind the men who supported their wives, daughters, sisters, mothers (including disabled and sick women) in history towards progress and living fully deserved rich lives. All were all horrible oppressors of women, if we are to believe the current Hollywood and popular media culture. Guilty by gender association. Barbie teaches us that all of them should be condemned. Cynical... 
Women do have to catch up in many fields but that is also because for centuries they weren't in a position to become scientists or writers. Blame socio-economic circumstances and the church first and foremost for this. Then the fact that the majority of women had easily half a dozen of children in the past and had to both work and raise those kids in poverty often. But not many poor men were in a position to thrive in the field of their interest either in the past. How many dreamed of spending their waking hours down in mines? They all had little other choice. So why can't people just simply support equality? Equal rights, equal possibilities? Instead of collectively trying to demonize an entire group of people. That sort of black and white thinking is rife at the moment. I wonder if the younger generations' TikTok brain is to blame perhaps. No patience or capabilities to deal with nuance or difference of opinion. Cancelling people left and right based on rumours or hunches instead of hard proof. Ugh.. 
So anyway, this Barbie movie may do well in cinemas but I can't see people in the future looking all that favourably at this pile of nonsense. Maybe only as a fair representation of the talking points of woke modern privileged women of 2023. All Oscars should go to the PR team who turned this turd into a success and scammed legions of young girls in the process, who showed up in their princess dresses, hoping to be entertained. Only to be confused and bored with this disjointed mess of a movie: too childish in its stereotypes for adults and too serious for kids. Another Hollywood movie that has to preach political views with trigger-warning friendly vanilla humour. It has its place in certain genres, perhaps, but Disney is doing the same and all their woke projects are tanking with the general audiences.
UPDATE: And now the whole nonsense from Ryan Gosling about him getting an Academy Award (Oscar) nomination for his role, but Margot Robbie not getting one for her role as Barbie and Greta Gerwig neither.... with Ryan writing about what an abomination this is in an online post... That sort of entitled backlash only further cheapens this movie. People don't normally make movies expecting to get Academy Awards, you'd hope. You do it for the craft and then awards are an occasional form of recognition, and depending on many factors including the overall field of competition. This was a mediocre silly movie with mediocre acting. Shame Ryan Gosling 'has no plans' to forfeit his oscar nod haha. Of course he hasn't. Am glad that Oppenheimer does get the critical recognition it deserves.
UPDATE: And now the whole nonsense from Ryan Gosling about him getting an Academy Award (Oscar) nomination for his role, but Margot Robbie not getting one for her role as Barbie and Greta Gerwig neither.... with Ryan writing about what an abomination this is in an online post... That sort of entitled backlash only further cheapens this movie. People don't normally make movies expecting to get Academy Awards, you'd hope. You do it for the craft and then awards are an occasional form of recognition, and depending on many factors including the overall field of competition. This was a mediocre silly movie with mediocre acting. Shame Ryan Gosling 'has no plans' to forfeit his oscar nod haha. Of course he hasn't. Am glad that Oppenheimer does get the critical recognition it deserves.
Appalachia
Lastly, I saw this wonderful episode about a young man living off the grid in Kentucky, Appalachia (USA). Even though it is far removed from how we live here I was fascinated by him and touched by his way of living, his beliefs and faith and just his entire attitude towards life. When you have about an hour of free time, give it a go. Titus also looks for a life partner and gave the reporter his landline number - which he shares in a shed with an Amish neighbour haha - and within days of this episode airing on Youtube his answering machine had been chuck full with messages. Understandably the phone number was taken offline again soon after.
Lastly, I saw this wonderful episode about a young man living off the grid in Kentucky, Appalachia (USA). Even though it is far removed from how we live here I was fascinated by him and touched by his way of living, his beliefs and faith and just his entire attitude towards life. When you have about an hour of free time, give it a go. Titus also looks for a life partner and gave the reporter his landline number - which he shares in a shed with an Amish neighbour haha - and within days of this episode airing on Youtube his answering machine had been chuck full with messages. Understandably the phone number was taken offline again soon after.
He lives a charming, simple lifestyle, but I am sweating just watching his off grid life without aircon, fridge or fan 😄 I also saw this clip come by. Touching words of wisdom from the old Uncle Seymore and a beautiful sad song from a descendant of Dutch people, Townes van Zandt. Bob Dylan was a big fan of his. I like what Uncle Seymore said about how to live. Always be busy with something. Eat and drink in moderation. Eat three meals a day, eat 'soul food' such as beans, corn, the best whiskey. Thank God for the time you got from him on earth. Talk to him just like you talk to the people around you. Meanwhile that singer died relatively young from alcohol abuse. Uncle already warned him about this in this clip. Maybe that's why he had some tears at the last part of that beautiful Townes song, because it basically shows through the lyrics that it was pointless to warn him.
Songs of the day
Interesting what you wrote on the „left“ and left-wing actionism. What is it to call someone „left-wing“ ? It´s the knowledge about political economics, the basis of capitalism (I have to confess : I am an orthodox Marxist). Most „left“ people lack it completely. The so called „Left“ in Europe will get nowhere without it. The „Left“ has long been abandoned the analysis of modern capitalism, and that´s for a good reason : it has become part of it ! (the mostly „green“ esoteric (e.g. veganism) instead of a deep scientific analysis of shareholder capitalism). As my algebra professor once said : that´s all „kokolores“, or in marxist terms : that´s the „Überbau“.
ReplyDelete(You used in another blog the term „Reich-wingers“ : That´s nice, never heard it before; and it´s a term NOT ONLY suitable for the new European fascists)
Hi David :)
Delete(or should I say comrade?)
Thanks for your comment. Yeh I wished the new lefts focus point would turn back to the 1%, better distribution of wealth in the world, things like that. Instead of some of the petty current topics fed by the media.
Perhaps the traditional definition of the Left wing versus Right wing terminology has changed over time too? In the USA apparently socialism or anything leaning in that direction (welfare state) is branded 'Communism' right off the bat. Still..
Yes you hardly hear a discussion anymore (outside of specialist corners) about capitalism. True, even the left wing topics du jour itself have been hijacked by capitalism (veganism, 'food-ism', woke-ness, political correctness). In a society where everything revolves around 'I want it Now, and quick please', I wonder if anyone even challenges some of capitalism's less favourable side effects. A lot of people nowadays seem preoccupied with getting rich slash famous slash successful as soon as possible. Even when I studied at university back in the early 2000's, hardly anyone was bothered about political or social questions, let alone capitalism; instead they wanted to get a well paying job asap. I'm not a big fan of capitalism an sich either. Or the excesses of the majority of the wealth being in the hands of less than 1% of society. But then again, when you encounter the sort of state funded customer service in a country like France, you'd almost wish they were privatized haha (so slow.. so slack... so disinterested).
AH yes, I can't claim that term as my own but indeed, multi-applicable
Hi comrade Scarlet :)
ReplyDeleteIn times like these it is essential to commemorate those who gave their lives to free Europe from Fascism. Your blog entry is appreciated very much !
Nevertheless (I hope all that does not sound too upper pedantic) I want to give hint to another battle (one that is almost forgotten in our western view of WW2) that was decisive in the further development of the war : The battle of Kursk in summer of 1943 („Operation Citadel“). It had already been taken place a year before D-Day in Normandy. The Germans lost almost their entire tank force there (which was the backbone of the German army). From then on the Germans had to retrieve from any occupied territory in the Soviet Union. It was the Red Army that paved the way for June 6, 1944. Without it D-Day would never have been possible.
Добрый день, товарищ
DeleteThank you. So many fascinating, tragic, memorable, heroic battles have taken place over the course of history, but some do stand out. In the past I wrote a bit about Hannibal for instance, I do like the smart tactical geniuses. Oh thanks so much, I'm going to look into it right away. Sure there are some documentaries to be found on Operation Citadel/Kursk. I've seen and read quite a bit about the Battle of Stalingrad but this sounds interesting too. I did come across the Germans dramatic loss of tanks during their battles at the Eastern front, so it must have been more specifically during this Operation Citadel then. Yes those tanks would have mad a disaster of D-Day, had they been present (or used) in Normandy.. And it was Stalin who pressed his new allied friends to start contributing too and to invade France. Yes the Red army was important and one of the few times in modern history that the Americans actually worked together with Russia I guess? Considering their usual McCarthyism attitude towards Russia.
Like all great artists, Igor lives in his own world.
ReplyDeleteHe is apparently so convinced of his art
that he doesn't care
that outside of his world
toilet paper has become a new currency
which is only traded in dark backrooms
and maybe soon more valuable than gold or bitcoins.
Art lovers of all countries unite!
Does not allow,
that our most valuable personal care product
is destroyed by Igor!
Give Igor his own personal care product
for his murder tools!
Nobody needs Scratchings IV, Scratchings V and Scratchings VI !
Haha thank you Gunter and you are correct that the artistic outcomes of Igor do not quite warrant the costly basic material he squanders for it! I will push him to switch to collages, and will hand him the obsolete morning papers to get creative with.
DeleteThank you!
Hi Scarlet. Ive been following your blog for a year or so now. Its been very helpful. As there has been no update since the end of July, I just thought I would check if everything is alright?
ReplyDeleteThank you Jason, that is so kind of you to ask. Very glad to hear it's been helpful what I wrote. Yes I have been ok. Just have been a bit preoccupied with other things and I did not want to ramble on and on about covid and politics here, but focus on rosacea again. But I'll update a bit more. I tend to write more here when things don't go well.. And my rosacea hasn't been too bad the past months. But I'm sure that in winter I will be back to bad flushing and burning all the time. Best wishes!
DeleteThanks for the nice message. Only now I realised you replied! A year after you wrote it. I just wanted to say its good to see you are doing your own research regarding covid and sharing your findings. I'm fully aware myself of the lies we are being told on a daily basis and how the truth is being supressed. All the best to you :)
Delete