28 February, 2022

Ongoing post, Update day to day life XIX, Now - September 26th 2023




I try to give an insight in my own life and dealings with rosacea. I also try to gather information that might be useful for everyone with rosacea, especially subtype 1 with burning, flushing and skin redness. I happen to be a bit unfortunate in that I have this condition for a long time already, and unlike many others, I haven't been able to get it into remission. I know it is more uplifting to read about someone who has beaten rosacea, but I like to write about the struggles that come for those who haven't achieved this. I also blabber about other everyday life topics here. 








 January 29, 2024





BUDAPEST

I went to Budapest. It was lovely. I was happy being able to walk all days with my ankle holding up! It was still a little bit swollen by evening, but no pain and only some slight discomfort on day three. Can't believe how long it took for that torn ankle ligament to heal, but here we are. All (almost) good again. I still have anxieties about misplacing my foot on stairs and breaking the ankle. The weather on arrival in Budapest was horrendous. Total rain downpour and we had to wander through town for four hours until the room was ready for check in. But we enjoyed thick hot chocolate and goulash soup in an old fancy coffee house. The rest of the stay the weather was great. Fresh enough to be outside without the need for a neck fan for me, and nice and cool at night. I brought my beck fans for in the plane and in restaurants and a small clip on travel fan for nighttime. I also brought a thin bed sheet in case the existing one would be very perfumated from washing detergent. All was good and my skin behaved, although my cheeks were red. But I mainly had proper flushing in the evenings from the food, and a late evening walk would always bring it back down again. (Although unfortunately at this time of writing, the cold weather has really flared up my rosacea badly and I am flushing a lot and have cold urticaria on my cheeks again, despite trying to keep a steady indoor temperature 😳😭).

Budapest is a very pretty old city I thought. Outside the town the place looked almost like a warzone (very run down), but Budapest itself is beautiful, clean and has old 19th century European charm. But it is also Eastern European and has a very different vibe from western European cities I know. You can see many crumbling old buildings and remnants from the Soviet era. My father has a great antipathy towards everything Stalinist and Russian and Eastern Bloc (I personally do not), so we pleased him by photographing many dilapidated buildings in town and sending them to him ('delicious shuddering'). He would also type back: 'Look what those fecking Russians did to the place!' If he could change my name into something non-Russian he probably would at this stage hehe, in retrospect. The city does not replace all its old Soviet architecture and I was glad to see that. Neither has it removed the many socialist realistic statues in town.

We walked a lot and also enjoyed some guided group tour. One covered the Jewish quarter. The tour guide had very interesting stories about the Jewish community throughout the centuries and also told about famous Jewish figures from there and the effects of WW2 and communism. Really glad we did that as it just brought that place alive. The group discussions and interactions were nice as well. I had noticed in general that people in the street or in shops were not overly friendly. To nobody, locals or tourists alike. But not speaking any Hungarian was definitely not helping by their impatience. I wonder if the grumpiness had to do with the poor financial situation there. The tour guide did explain that many people make a poor living with their wages. When passing a protest group in the street near Parliament, we all assumed they were marching for Palestine. But the tour guide said that in fact it were school teachers who were striking because they only made 500 euro a month (!). He explained how low the wages are in Hungary in general and how everyone is struggling in the lower ranked jobs.

For us tourists Budapest was more expensive than I had expected based on info booklets and online forums. But I suspect the nice hotels and restaurants and coffee houses are purposely made expensive, as they aim at the tourists mostly. And fairly so. Then on top of high prizes they charged 28% service costs at the checkout (not indicated anywhere), and then they also turned out to expect additional tips. It kind of caused chaos in my slightly autistic brain haha. What are these people exactly expecting me to pay now?? I don't mind tipping, but it is not custom in countries like the Netherlands or France. I didn't understand really what was expected of me, but the sour faces of some waiters when tipping just a little bit said enough 😖 Later I understood that many younger people working in cafes and restaurants rely on tips in part to up their low wages. Probably similar to what is custom in the United States. Whereas we at home believe that people should be paid enough (high enough minimum wages for starters), and then tips are an unexpected bonus. I worked on a tour boat as a student and a tape with all the information would run throughout the boat. We just had to sell drinks and snacks. An elderly American couple was on that boat one time and asked me all sorts of questions about the architecture and history of the town. I know a lot about that and was happy to chat with them for that hour of the tour. Then as they got up to disembark the man pressed two hundred euro bills in my hand and said "this is just for you, thanks so much". I was shocked. The boat tickets had cost them only 10% of that tip. It was so very nice. And so unusual, it never happened to me again. Unfortunately I wasn't sure if other colleagues had seen it and the company policy was to hand in tips so that they could be equally shared over all the employees. I did and got 20 euro in the end. I still regret handing it in 😂

But anyway, Hungarians also still feel the aftereffects of the old communist Iron Curtain days, our tour guide said. Most Hungarians grew up with it all, especially those over the age of 40. He told about the paranoia and madness under the Soviets, and about the sort of state control people lived under. Russians employing millions of Hungarians to spy on their own countrymen. Documents being written of everyone's comings and goings. People did not know who they could trust in life. People were literally wired, observed and tracked. There were spies everywhere, the walls had ears and many people became utterly paranoid. It may have negatively affected the spirit of the people in the long run. Plus the communist credo meant that many people were kept pretty poor (except for the party leaders themselves of course, and their friends).

The coffee houses were great, the food different from what I'm used to with cabbage, potatoes, lots of goulash (beef with paprika) or chicken covered in paprika sauce. They have lso lángos: a fried flatbread with sour cream and cheese. It sounds good, but was quite greasy and salty and not really my thing. 🙂 I did love the bakeries and the sweet pies and confectionary. We also visited the old city zoo. it was very old and in part charming. But the lonely lions, tiger and polar bear pacing around bored or manically in their small enclosures left me sad. It kind of ruined the whole experience. Not the sort of zoo I had expected to be open legally still in Europe. The smaller animals seemed happy enough though.

And will you believe this! I had been so disciplined and cautious with my money. Careful about potential pickpocketing, careful not to spend a fortune on food and excursions etc. When at the airport again at the end of the trip, I wanted to spend the last Hungarian pocket money on drinks. When trying to pay at the cash, it turned out I didn't have enough spare coins after all for everything, so some items had to be taken off again. I was fussing with the money and in the end we went to sit at a table a fair bit away. After about 15 minutes a man comes up to our table and shows the envelope, asking if this is ours! I almost had a heart attack. So kind, he had seen it lying on the counter of the little food stall and had asked the saleswoman what the people who it belonged to had ordered, so he could check if we were still around. So very nice. In all the consternation I had completely forgotten to take this brown envelope in which I stored my money, which was at that time 450 euro. The man even asked me even to count the money to see if everything was still in there. The money was still all inside and I gave him 80 euro finders prize. Phew!! It left me shaken as I usually three-double check if I don't forget something or leave any belongings behind, as I'm pretty scatterbrained. I wouldn't have realised I lost the cash until we had landed and I would need to use those euro's I think. I would have probably assumed I had been pickpocketed in the metro or bus to the airport...

















DOLL STORY

Maybe you appreciate these video interviews like I do. They are filmed in the USA (I believe it is San Diego, but it may be another big city in the States). I only now and then check her channel, but recently I did and watched a couple of videos. So this woman of the project interviews all sorts of city people and asks them confronting, thought-provoking questions. I do like to watch them at times, because it is real. The people interviewed are often very honest in their answers and it reminds me that even though my (health) problems may seem to myself way bigger than the daily issues of many other people, you cannot really think like that. People often carry all sorts of pain and trauma along with them. They may look fabulous and polished and in control on the outside, but we cannot know what they carry inside, unless we ask them. Maybe you can also relate to some of these three short videos. I upload both the direct Youtube link plus a separate lesser quality version on this blog site, in case the content maker ever decides to remove the Youtube videos there. In these three short videos the following questions are posed: "What do you miss most about yourself", "What's the loneliest you have ever felt". "What's the most painful thing you have been told."

   
 
  
 
  

I showed them to a friend from Australia (who also has rosacea) and they said some thoughtful things about them I thought. "Oh wow Nat, what a question to ask someone and it makes you really think deeply about it. "What do you miss most about yourself?" I know both you and I can really relate to a question like "what do you miss about yourself". Wow, I know I can really get into that and answer that, but I normally probably don't think about it much. Interesting how some people have very deep and reflective answers, while others are a little on the superficial side, and some are quite sad.  eg the poor girl who cut herself. Lots tend to lose the confidence it seems. Lots of depression and trauma and these people are still so young. Interesting answer by one guy. He misses having the external motivation of pleasing someone (probably his parents) and making them proud no doubt. He obviously is struggling to find motivation or direction.

"What's the loneliest you have ever felt" 
Another deep question pushing you to really open up and be honest. Yes, Nat, you are right, they are very honest. Wow, this bloke is quite young and he has already lived 4 years in a homeless shelter. Isn't it f...... sad that someone could lose friends or family for coming out as gay or bisexual. No wonder some commit suicide, knowing that they fear losing people they love just for being gay, just for being themselves. It must be so paralysing for them. Poor man. Grew up without a proper family so he says he has always felt lonely. Poor man! "What's the most painful thing you have been told" Wow, this makes you really think. Deep question as well. I can tell that this kid is wise. He is correct about words having power. My god Nat, so emotional and I am getting teary eyed for them. And one thing I have noticed or what is noticeable with these videos is that there is so much pain JUST below the surface with a lot of people. Just a question can trigger pain and emotion with so many who are obviously walking around with a lot of pain and suffering. It is really quite sad! Thing is too, as you get older, you realise how important words can be or how they can form your childhood. I remember specific things that are said that had an impact on me and you never forgot them. And here is a PERFECT example of this woman never forgetting and it obviously affected her with her mum telling her that "you will never be an artist" when she was in kindergarten. Wonderful and thought provoking videos Nat. And often very sad."

DOLL
As for myself, there is one memory (or lack of memory, more like) that still sticks with me. My aunt once accused me of stealing a new Barbie doll of my niece. 
I was about 9 or 10 years old. We had visited them and my niece and I had played with her dolls all day, including her new Skipper, her big pride. Then back at home the aunt called my parents and said that the new doll was missing and that they believed I had stolen it. I was really upset and offended by that. They stuck to their guns and it even cooled my mum and aunt's relationship for a while. 
The worst part is this: I later remembered that story again and I suddenly started to question and even doubt my own memory! I kept thinking: COULD I have taken that Barbie in fact? And have my mind playing tricks and having me forget it?? Could I theoretically have hidden it somewhere? Where would I have hidden it then? Under my sweater in the car ride back home? In one of the compartiment shelves under my bed? Can my brain have played games on me? It is a terrible feeling because obviously I have no idea now anymore. I just know I was angry and upset by the accusation at the time and given how much I always have been upset by injustice, I think it was a lie by my niece and she told her mum this. The possible context may be that we were in the process of move to their village and I would go to my nieces school and class. She had already shown kids in class a photo of her niece (me) and apparently some boys had made comments about me looking pretty. While my niece was chubby at the time (she later developed debilitating anorexia). I wonder if she hid the doll herself to make me look bad out of jealousy. BUT that doll was never found again. And because I went over this memory a lot in the past, I even started to doubt my own recollections at some point. And thinking about it later in life made me also doubt if those 'what if' imaginary scenarios may over time have blended into reality (and thus me doubting my own experience at the time even more). It is terrible, it really made me doubt myself for some time.







Hamas 7/10 terrorist attack in Israel


I have long been doubting and pondering about whether or not to include this topic on this blog. It is supposed to deal with rosacea and flushing after all. And then some day to day life updates, which did veer away from rosacea over time I realize. It is also a gruesome topic and a controversial one. But I just feel strongly about this I suppose, so here it goes. Feel free to skip, as always. The topic has become almost emblematic: Do You support the Underdog or the "Oppressor"? Are you as a white "privileged" person an enforcer of 'Apartheid' or of poor struggling people? Are you in favour of 'Zionism' or 'Freedom Fighters'? There is bias and polarization even in these formulations alone. Everything has become so black/white and ideological today. I have multiple friends who support Palestine and I'd say that applies to the majority of my friends and family in fact. I have defended Palestine for years myself and openly criticized Israel's settlement politics. But after the October 7th attack, I feel slightly differently about this.

I remember debating with fellow students in my uni days about the IRA and the ETA: is it morally acceptable for 'Freedom Fighters' (wanting their own state etc) to blow up innocent civilians? With all that youthful audacity I used to defend the Yes camp. As higher goals trump individual losses and because peaceful protests and non-anarchistic negotiations brings splinter groups nowhere, I thought. ETA was a paramilitary and armed terrorist Basque separatist movement which followers killed over 800 people since the 1960's. And in 2004, right in the middle of my university days, Partida Popular bombed a train in Madrid, Spain and blew 193 innocent souls to smithereens and injured over 2000 people. It was the news of the day. It did not really achieve much. The IRA had their own list of bloodshed. I dated a Scottish guy at the time who was from Catholic Irish descend and a Celtic supporter... so the IRA was lauded. And hotly debated. But I was willing at the time to see the necessity of making casualties in order to be taken seriously in your quest, as a separatist party.

Nowadays? Not so much! Knowing also how little violence and terrorism achieves in a normal functioning democracy. And perhaps my antipathy regarding ideologists has diminished with age, and my identification with the normal everyday person going on their normal ways has increased now. Like most guns-blazing revolutionary loving students in the end turn into normal people. Just look at many of the hippies of the 70's, blasting the establishment... only to become part of the money making establishment during the 80's. Then there is also a minority segment who radicalizes further. They become so ideological and angry over time that depending on their political stance of choice, they take pleasure in destroying your life and in cheering on every injustice if the courts happen to be corrupted. They happily throw us all in jail if we disagree with them and if it furthered their cause and imprinted end goal. Just look at the 20th century Maoists.

So anyway, despite in the past always debating in favour of Palestine, what happened on October 7th in Israel is a total horror show. The mainstream media zoomed in on these atrocities for only a few days, after which the narrative quickly shifted to the Palestinian cause, skipping over the 7/10 atrocities. That's why I feel like posting the below videos of how that day unfolded, in all its gruesomeness and anxiety. Because the current military attack of Israel in Gaza, does not stand on itself or fell out of the sky. I saved every bit of footage I could find about it all and edited some of it into some longer videos for you to see, if you can stomach it. (Although it does not include the worst footage or testimonies, among which gang raping girls to death, cutting them open while alive, stabbing and shooting them in their private parts and burning scores of people to death). These crimes were all documented after all; both by real time victims and surprisingly also by the proud Hamas terrorists themselves. Not even the Nazi's bragged or gleefully documented their crimes. They tried to hide it at the time. But here we have 'Freedom Fighters' with GoPro's, live streaming their killing and torture spree. Just like Isis used to do. I wonder if the people who so fervently attack Jewish citizens now in our West for the actions of Israel, have the guts to watch the footage of the 7/10 atrocities. Instead of ignoring it or pretending the massacre of over 1200 civilians among whom 360 music festival goers, is 'fake news'. And while I do understand and support wishes for a ceasefire, people should understand that Hamas has to release the 100+ hostages they still hold in Gaza, among whom many children and youngsters. 

Compilation video I of the start of the attack HERE (for some reason it is embedded and loaded into this post when viewing it on my laptop, but my tablet seems to block the video from running. I suspect it gets blocked by blogger, despite not being graphic in nature. See this direct link in that case).

Or watch it HERE on youtube if you have an account there because of age restriction.

Compilation video II of some of the actual cruelties inflicted (trigger warning for sure) is separately uploaded HERE due to it's distressing nature.


III Some of the victims:

Gruesome, and this is the sort of military activism I no longer can defend at my age. So the western media has fairly quickly started skipping over the absolute brutality of these October 7 attacks or the remaining hostage crisis. Focusing instead on Israel's brutal return attack, of which they did inform the residents of Gaza beforehand (people were warned of the impending attack through hundreds of thousands of leaflets being thrown out of planes for instance, and by repeated public requests from the Israeli army to leave town or certain areas). But that of course meant for hundreds of thousands of people to pack up and move. To where? To another corner of Gaza, with all the humanitarian tragics to follow. Not great to read about, to be honest. Brazen, some could say. To uproot so many innocent people and destroy so much housing and infrastructure, in order to kill these Hamas terrorists. The Mossad did it a it more subtle after the Munich atrocity. And this approach is not fair for the Palestinian innocent civilians. They may live, but their lives are entirely uprooted and their houses may be demolished. (I don't even dare to bring up the situation for their poor pets). Israel believes that it is in a state of war since 7/10 and that it has the right to defend itself. By destroying Hamas and eliminating its members and their infrastructure. And unfortunately Hamas has built intricate and massive tunnel systems right under the inhabited world in Gaza, including hospitals and schools (video proof of this has been shared and was covered by the BBC among other channels). Storing weapons in houses and hospitals and then saying that Israel kills innocent civilians during its strikes. But Israel's 'self defense' looks more like a huge attack today. 

Of course, eliminating Hamas has been made as difficult as possible by them. Hamas does not seem to care that much for its own citizens either. Hundreds of Hamas rockets have already been fired from civilian structures, including mosques, schools and hospitals. An estimated 12% of those rockets fired by Hamas have fallen short inside Gaza. Killing their own people. Does Hamas count on the escalating numbers of civilians to sway public opinion? You start to wonder if normal thinking people in the west can perhaps simply not believe this because they (luckily) cannot think this way? And can only - deep down - assume that everybody has the same hopes and dreams that we free westerners do. Making excuses for jihadists, in effect. Some vocal Americans for instance try to dismiss or even justify Hamas' calculated bloodshed, but don’t seem to understand the logic and the reality of Islamist religious fundamentalist ideology. Like other Jihadi groups (ISIS, PIJ, Hezbollah) there is little that can be done to reconcile Western values with an ideology that is fatalistic and violent. Yes, every innocent death in Gaza is horrible, but you can't have it both ways. And this is not an unprovoked attack from Israel on Hamas, who went out to kill, rape and butcher as many civilians as possible in their kamikaze burst of terror. 

So now the next thing happened: thousands of students from especially Ivy League American universities were stimulated by teachers to go out and march and protest for Palestine. In the process attacking and threatening (innocent) Jewish students. Calling Hamas proud Freedom Fighters and supporting its barbaric fundamentalism at times even. Below you see a professor in Vancouver leading a cheer for "the amazing and brilliant offensive waged on October 7". I can't believe what I am hearing. How this has been allowed on top universities (including Harvard and Penn State) is frankly a little bit shocking, and not at all a fair and nuanced take: 


Other professors also spoke publicly about their "elation'" and happiness after finding out about the 7/10 horror show. How are these people still teaching in this time of cancel culture? It looks like that one only works to kick out conservatives? So on the one hand there are countless 'microaggressions', and misgendering equals violence. But real violence and rape are seen to be a valid form of resistance? The hypocrisy and double standards are interesting. Palestinians have grounds for complaints and sympathy, but to see legions of plush students in the free West revolt the way they do and attack Jewish students over this... Uhm? What if the Israeli army had similarly started all this by slaughtering innocent Palestinians in their homes and during dance parties in such a fashion? More than 1200 of them in one go? A well-prepared mission, solely aimed at raping, killing, burning alive and kidnapping as many young people and families as possible in Gaza? We wouldn't hear the end of it on our news. Israel does kill innocent civilians of course, but in wars the innocent people are always seen as collateral damage, unfortunately. 

What is even more bizarre to me, is to see minorities who are oppressed and often even killed in a place like Gaza going out with flags stating 'Allah loves Queers' and rainbow coloured 'Allah loves Equality' flags. Are these people not aware of the human rights crises for minorities in many Middle Eastern countries and certainly under Hamas? Isn't this the age of information? Or have we become so decadent here that people simply are too ignorant to appreciate what freedoms they have been born into? Just as absurd: American 'influencers' who suddenly came out supporting Osama Bin Laden... Wtf? Hamas are a group of religious zealots and fundamentalist people who oppress women, who sentence homosexuals to death or simply chuck them off roofs of houses, justifying their deeds with the Quran. Palestinians voted in majority for Hamas during the 2006 elections; a militant terrorist organization who proudly list it as their aim for jihadis to wipe Israel and all the Israelis off the face of the earth. No equal rights for women and girls, no rights for transgenders and homosexuals. You get the gist. When they say over and over who they are, believe them:


And the majority of Palestinians in Gaza still support Hamas, according to all sorts of international polls. Although it remains to be seen in how far Israel and the USA played a role in the initial foundation of Hamas, I must add (crazy, but look it up). Hamas have so far refused every chance to compromise with Israel and create their own Palestinian state, despite decades of serious attempts to create a two state system. Israel tried to talk to Palestine about a peaceful, two-state route for decades. So well in fact, that in the Camp David accords Israel and all of Palestine's negotiators at one point agreed on a treaty that fulfilled every demand made by PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat. Israel and everyone but Arafat were ready to turn over Gaza and 90+ percent of West Bank, including East Jerusalem, and give Palestinians their own state. Arafat at the last minute vetoed the deal. Was he so wedded to The Struggle that he couldn't fathom a world without a fight with Israel? In any case, he kept the fight alive. Israel has tried since 1947 to make a peace deal with Arab leaders. Not once have the Palestinians come up with their own peace proposal. Israeli prime ministers Ehud Barak and Ehud Olmert both offered specific plans. There have been no Palestinian counter proposals. Time after time the answer to the Israeli proposals of creating a Palestinian state was: 'We want it all, or you'll get nothing but more attacks and terror'. No Israeli leader has ever been able to deal with Hamas or any Palestinian group on a two state solution, because Hamas and every Palestinian group has rejected any two State solution. Hamas wants endless war it seems, or the total eradication of Israel. This is Ben Shapiro debating this with some Oxford students:


At the same time, Netanyahu has consistently undermined the peace process himself by rapidly advancing settlements in the West Bank, harassing Palestinians at Al Aqsa, curtailing the freedom of gazans, sometimes taking civilians' lives there and by forming a coalition government with the most far-right ethno-nationalists ever to hold power in Israel. Even though many in the Israeli Left and Center wish to see those settlements in the West Bank stopped or dismantled. And yes, from the perspective of Palestinians there was indeed a big injustice in 1948. There is so much to say about that, but I've always said in discussions with friends that nations cannot just throw families who's ancestors lived there for centuries off a large plot of land. Which did happen. It was followed by centuries of "small" aggressions by Israel, also while a two-state solution was in sight or seemed achievable. But on the other hand, Palestinians have started wars with Israel themselves and lost them all. Now Hamas refuses to negotiate entirely, and (also) consistently seeks the destruction of Israel. They want all their old land back and for Israel to stop existing. This will never happen.. Israel on the other hand has allowed Palestinians to live and work in its country. One in five inhabitants of Israel is Arabic. Many Israeli hospitals have Arabic doctors working there. Many stores in Israel are owned by Arabs too, especially in Jeruzalem. I'm sure there is some level of discrimination against them, but in contrast you will find no Jews in Palestine. In 2005 Sharon removed 9000 Jews from Gaza. Hamas took over and ruined that area for all its inhabitants and armed itself to the teeth. Many Arabs are also said to be raised with the hatred of Jews. Feminist and politician Ayaan Hirsi Ali wrote a fascinating article about growing up in Jew hating indoctrination. No one wants to say it, but I’m sure many Gazans hold radical views, not just against Israel but against the Jewish people in general and the western world itself.

It is since Hamas came in power (and quickly got rid of all the opposition, either banishing or killing them) and who since 2006 did not allow new elections, that Israel really started to say: Ok, we have a neighbour here who is structurally unwilling to come to an agreement. A neighbour who is dead set on destroying us and kidnapping and killing our people and shooting off rockets at us. A neighbour who is barbaric and non-democratic. Who impoverishes its own people while the Hamas big shots reside in rich Arab countries, not in 'open air prison' Gaza, mind you. Because that's how it goes, they also let the suicide bombing be done by the peasants, promising them a few dozen virgins and martyrdom in exchange. And Israel had enough of the rocket attacks and closed the border and controlled it vehemently.


Of course the Israeli counter attack is now killing scores of innocent civilians in Gaza, which is terrible and should not happen. It is total overkill, literally and figuratively. But it is also a complex situation. This topic can be reduced to one massive chicken or egg circle debate: did Israel start dismantling Hamas because they first slaughtered innocent Israelis on 7/10? Or did Hamas do this to somehow avenge what they believe Israel has done to them by controlling the borders of Gaza and making life very hard for Palestinians? Shooting with bullets at stone throwing youths? But didn't Israel start doing that áfter Palestinians voted Hamas into power, who have attacked Israel with rockets for many years already and who have it as their prime (written) aim to push Israel and all Israelis into the sea? Does having such a violent and revengeful neighbour, who openly claims to want to destroy and murder you, give grounds for heightened border control and assassination of violent Gazans? Why was Hamas voted in power in the first place? Did Gazans perhaps simply have enough of the sneaky and slow-paced land stealing by Israel, with their ever growing settlements and their objectionable settlement politics?

Or is it because people hold onto the injustice of forefathers having been chased off their land to establish the state of Israel there in the 1940's? It were the majority of the member states of the United Nations who decided that the state of Israel should be established in 1948. The immense horrors of the Holocaust and western guilt may have played a role in this decision. The region of current Israel was not chosen willy-nilly. In antiquity it was for centuries home to several Canaanite, Israelite and Jewish kingdoms (it is referred to as the Land of Israel in Jewish tradition). But territories have throughout history often been claimed by others and changed nationalities or identity. This region was ruled by powers such as the Assyrians, Babylonians, Achaemenids, Greeks and the Romans. Jews over time became a minority in the region. It later came under Arab rule. Wiki: "The late 19th century saw the rise of Zionism, a movement advocating for the establishment of a Jewish homeland. Under the British Mandate placed by the League of Nations after World War I, Jewish immigration to the region increased considerably leading to intercommunal conflict between Jews and the Arab majority. The UN-approved 1947 partition plan triggered a civil war between these groups which would see the expulsion or fleeing of most Palestinians from Mandate Palestine. The British terminated the Mandate on 14 May 1948, and Israel declared independence on the same day."

Jews lived on that land for a very long time in the old days, before being expelled themselves. Modern day Israel was a stretch of largely uncultivated desert land in the 1940's, and the people living there were compensated (somewhat...). All the way back in the 1930s, Palestinian Arabs were offered a one state solution if they agreed to absorb a Jewish minority with equal rights. They said no. There were many iterations of this offer until 1947. Nevertheless it was an injustice for the Arabic people living there at the time, who were expulsed off the land of their forefathers, and not enough compensated probably. This is the root of the wars and troubles of the next 76 years, and counting. But Jews have been persecuted and chased around the globe for thousands of years themselves. Pogroms and ghetto's are not a thing from the 1940's alone. As my dad used to say: the Jews will not let this happen another time and defend their country tooth and nail. As they probably should. As I said, Palestinians have obstructed many peace plans and two-state deal proposals. You can find information online if interested. And it is depressing to see how unwilling Palestinians today are to coexist with Israel. When they say "occupation" they tend to refer to all of Israel's territory, not just the West Bank and Gaza. And "end the occupation" means the end of Israel. Dishearteningly; the few who say they are willing to accept two states tend to be older Palestinians.



So is Israel wrong now to destroy Hamas and its infrastructure in Gaza? It surely is causing a lot of damage in the process. But criticism from the United States for instance feels hypocritical. The USA went after Saddam and Iraq after all in the 9/11 era. Even though Iraq and Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11. And they destroyed and destabilized the entire region. They even created the fake report about discovering 'weapons of mass destruction' there, which later turned out to be a complete fabrication to justify that war. The USA bombed the hell out of the Middle East, which we in Europe also still feel the aftereffects of, with the massive immigration streams it caused and suicide attacks of course. Not to speak of the total destabilization of the Middle East and the space created for horror groups like ISIS. All for what, some more oil? Better hold on the dollar as trading currency? Strategic benefits? So it is a bit crass coming from some Americans now that Israel should just allow this to happen. Without avenging or destroying at least the monsters responsible. On the other hand; I also get that none of this is going to help in the long run and that the ongoing suffering of Palestinians will only create more future Jihadi's. What a nightmare. 

But as for morality: as Ben Shapiro also debates in the video below: can there be a case made here to distinguish between Hamas deliberately going into civilian areas and murdering everyone they can find, versus Israel attempting to target terrorists and accidentally killing civilians? (Although I don't believe this in fact happens 'accidentally' IDF. More like a calculated acceptance of massive collateral damage on the Gazans' side, which is certainly open for hefty criticism I think). Shapiro claims that this is nothing new in wars. And that during WW2 for instance, entire cities in Germany were bombed by the Allies, notwithstanding all the innocent civilians living there. 


I don't think there should be a tirade aimed at Israel's counterattack on Hamas without first and foremost starting the explicit recognition and denouncement of the 7/10 atrocities. Which barely happens. There are usually no 100% heroes vs 100% villains in life and no total Right vs Wrong. Not even Saddam Hussein was a total villain and the world saw what happens when you take a strong dictator like him out of a country made up of enemy tribes, held together by such a ruler. So then there are arguments to be made against the overwhelming force that is being used now by Israel to destroy Hamas. I also don't think this is the best way to go about. There are scores of innocent victims on Palestinian side (I don't believe the Hamas controlled ministries and their statistics persé, but it is clear that the destruction in Gaza is gigantic). Some would compare it to killing a bunch of flies with an elephant gun. And this widespread suffering in Gaza is not going to help to build a more peaceful and tolerant new young generation.

But then again: over a hundred mostly young Israelis are still being held hostage by Hamas in Gaza and Hamas leaders have blood on their hands. And we hear barely anything about them anymore in the western press. Totally forgotten and overshadowed by the gazan narrative. A Hamas leader has openly admitted in a New York Times interview that they (residing safely in Qatar) don't want a two state system and planned these terror attacks willingly and knowingly. Knowing full well what the Israeli response would be if they went ahead with their long-prepared torture and death squad attack on October 7th. And they did it anyway. And therefore sacrificed innocent Israeli citizens as well as their own innocent Gaza citizens, for their own twisted political objectives. Hamas leaders openly admitted in this NYT interview that two states will not satisfy them. They will only be satisfied by the destruction of Israel. And that Palestinian lives are subordinate to the Palestinian cause, which needed to be brought back in the limelight. Khalil al-Hayya said: “We had to tell people that the Palestinian cause would not die.” At the expense of Palestinian lives. “We had to destroy the village to save it”. This acknowledgment that the Palestinian cause was slipping away is pivotal. Hamas brought that topic back on the international agenda, at the expense of thousands of innocent lives lost. Please let that sink in.. As Cory Booker said during his tour of Israel on the evening of October 6 of 2023: a good chunk of the Middle East was more or less heading for peace at that time. And Saudi Arabia was on the verge of normalizing relations with Israel. This would further push the Palestinian agenda to the background. It’s such a shame that Hamas cynically concluded its only option was such an egregious attack, to undermine that peace process and restore Palestine's relevance. 

So; a new normal was developing in 2023, with Israel's hegemony over the region increasing and the Palestinian plight forgotten. The thawing of relations between the West and the Arab world forced Hamas (in Hamas' view..) to act. And it had effect, in a cynical way. But at what cost? This Hamas attack was probably also instigated by Iran, who's Ayatollahs have the destruction of Israel at the centre of their theology. Iran who is also trying to block normalization between Israel and Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries. That may be why Hezbollah (also an Iran proxy) has also fired thousands of rockets and missiles into Israel since 7/10. But Hamas is a Sunni-based theological group that has used violence every step of the way to drive their agenda (i.e. thwarting the Oslo accords with suicide bombers in Israel, violently taking over Gaza from the PA, trying to implement their heinous "from the river to the sea" philosophy). Hamas has been consistently forthright about its aim to destroy Israel and its lack of interest in a negotiated solution. This is a complex history and situation, gen Z'ers. Not something TikTok will educate you about in one minute. 


Although Israel is in some ways the oppressor, they also withdrew from Gaza in 2005. Israel's aim was to leave the Palestinians alone to govern themselves under Hamas. Within two years, Israel closed its borders with Gaza to prevent infiltration by Hamas into Israel. But also to isolate Hamas and to prevent arms from being smuggled into Gaza. Egypt in the south also closed its (Rafah) border in 2007. They do not want any Hamas militaries in their country either, nor risk being held accountable by Israel for any missiles they could theoretically shoot off from Egyptian soil. And I don't understand why the Palestinians think Hamas has anything to offer. There are often Israelis in the media criticizing their own country and government, but where are the Palestinians criticizing Hamas? Where are the Palestinian voices saying the population needs to push Hamas out and that nothing good will ever come from them and their eternal death wish? Even now they continue their deafening silence. Why? The answer seems obvious. Hamas jails and kills dissenters. There is no free speech where they rule. Palestinians either support them or are silent, due to being terrorized. Hamas' goal is vengeance and not justice. Instead of dialog they use murder. 

As flawed as it is, Israel is a liberal democracy. Although they are also a super power in terms of riches, intelligence, military force and diplomatic power. I don't think Israel is playing things 'fairly' all the time either. But Palestinians voted to support a radical Islamic theocracy. That radicalism is why the Palestinian Authority (who abolished free elections) is so weak. The pervasiveness of that radicalism in the Middle East is why Iran was able to destroy Lebanon through Hezbollah. Groups and factions like ISIS, Al Qaeda, Hamas and other jihadists aren’t popping up out of nowhere. It’s also in part why the West supports Israel: to be a stabilizing force to the region. Although they are not doing a good job at the moment, with the death and destruction now caused in Gaza in retaliation 😔And killing civilians and creating future martyrs there will not help this situation. But Hamas has a perverted world view, for viewing the sacrifice of its citizens as a great political victory. Hundreds of millions of western aid dollars ended up in those Hamas tunnels, instead of with the poor people of Gaza. These investments made by Hamas in acquisition of arms, in the development of the bunker systems and in the training in warfare are signifying their accumulated and planned investment in a culture of warfare. Not in helping its people survive in their basic human needs, or enriching the land of Gaza, or use it for investments in healthcare or technology for instance. It also reflects a long-term decision to not seek peace. Hamas does not really care about the direct needs of the Palestinians. If they did, they would have used the hundreds of millions in aid they’ve received (if not more; according to Wikipedia $40 billion in aid was given to Palestine between 1994 and 2020) to provide a meaningful way of life for the civilians living in the Gaza Strip. Hamas took untold riches and invested it in their war machinery, instead of building a modern infrastructure and educating and caring for the population of Gaza in a meaningful way. That should anger the Free West. 


Twenty years ago (even 10 years ago) the majority of people in the west would have been undividedly horrified by what the brutal fundamentalists of Hamas have done. And by what they self-recorded as evidence. Hamas is very canny. It has co-opted language used by the progressive left to justify the mass slaughter of 1200+ people and to excuse a war that has left many thousands of Palestinians dead. Lefties who would not have a life in Palestine under Hamas, mind you, as one of the above videos from the Al-Aqsa Mosque speech showed. Nowadays the more outspoken groups in the western world seem largely divided in two polarizing groups, who seem unable or unwilling to juggle more than one opinion at the same time. 'Palestine is oppressed by colonisers', end of discussion. The atrocities committed to babies, children and innocent families are simply ignored or cast aside as misinformation. And some aren't even up to date with the 7/10 attack itself. How embarrassing are these students.. So they first go to a political rally for a Free Palestine in the midst of Israel attacking as a result of the 7/10 horrors... but then say they have no clue basically that happened and 'first need to be a bit more clued up on everything that's going on'. Peculiar order of things, and does this then show that they are sheep who blindly sided with what the majority of their fellow students went out marching for? And the other student is possibly even worse. When asked about her initial reaction when finding out about the 7/10 attack, she says: "I don't believe they did, did they..?" 👇😕😲


That being said, Israel are acting like war criminals right now (some will say they ARE war criminals), bulldozing parts of Gaza and killing many more civilians by now than were killing by Hamas on 7/10. It is a scandal really how long this counterattack has been going on now and just how many civilians have died. It makes me suspicious about the reports that Israel and its military were warned beforehand about the impending 7/10 atack. Not saying they allowed this to happen, that is the most cynical and horrible conclusion/assumption. But by now it looks like the counterattack by Israel is about destroying all of Gaza, not just weeding out the Hamas terrorists responsible for the 7/10 massacre. And many countries in Europe and I suspect the USA as well are not in a position to demand Israel to stop. I understand the anger about this. 

I understand the protests, asking attention for the innocent victims now in both Israel and Gaza. But not the wave of anti semitism is rolling over us also at the moment. I saw footage of loud, masked people proudly celebrating the 7/10 massacre in a subway in the USA, demanding on camera if the Jewish passengers onboard can make themselves known, so that they can be harassed. And TikTok is happy to publish the footage. Hashtag brave. It is just incredible that innocent people worldwide are held responsible for the actions of some Palestinians or some Israelis. That one works both ways. Being critical of the current military actions from Israel, or of their kibbutz politics, or even of Israel's history is one thing, but attacking Jews all over the world, or looking for excuses to defend these war crimes of Hamas is not ok. And when you go down the slippery slide of 'whataboutism', there is always some 'excuse'. Next we're supposed to tolerate honour killings because of "Islam interpretation" or because of some Family Dispute. It is a difficult conflict and there is not one Heroic side and one Villainous side. Below is a video of a comedian making light of the moral dilemma in the West over this conflict. I hope there will be a deal made pronto and an end made to innocent people's lives being taken, on both sides. 

 




   


REALITY CHECK: THIS IS WHAT HAMAS DEFENDERS AND PROTESTERS ARE JUSTIFYING:


 


Songs of the day
  







 October 1, 2023

I saw a beautiful and interesting documentary on Arte about Nicolas de Staël. It only has French or German subtitles/language though.


Some art works from him below:







I also add a couple of photos from my skin, taken today and showing how pale my skin can look right after waking up. But then within half an hour of no cooling, the cheeks get pink and if I don't cool then.. they turn red and hot and painful. I talked with several female friends recently about ageing. It seems to be a topic that creeps up on you when you get to a certain age. It is strange, because I live in such a bubble myself, that time appears to move differently than for my worldly friends. I suspect that it seems to go faster to them, as they have kids related milestones, sleep deprivation and such busy lives. But I find it interesting how these thoughts about ageing and finity creep up almost naturally after.. well that must depend on each individual. I mean, I have been thinking about time and past and present-related topics for decades. But we in particularly now discuss how it feels to no longer be seen as young people. We're called Madame in shops now and people are vousvoyeren us; refer in a more formal second person form, which is used for those who are no longer youths anymore. I also walk through town and even though students still to do the same things we did, and gallivant through life like we did, we just no longer belong to that younger generation anymore. Not even seemingly. But I don't belong to the middle aged school run parent group either. Not that I mind, I do not like groups. And time seems to pass slowly to me as I have oceans of time compared to married parent friends of mine, to do what I want. But it seems a fact by now that I am halfway through life already. The way up always feels more promising and exciting than the way down. It won't get much better than this physical/health wise. And with age there is also a certain tiredness and cynicism that ultimately tries to creep up on you. As so much has already been seen and experienced before. And interhuman drama just seems too boring and repetitive as well. Which is a good thing by the way. But ultimately I don't have a problem with ageing. Sure, I'd like to be frozen in a 28 year old state of prime, but that is just not how it works in this day and age (although I'm sure it will work like that in the far future). So then you have only one alternative, aside from cosmetic and plastic surgeries which are not an option for me personally with all my allergies: grow old or be dead. In that sense ageing is a privilege. 

  

 


Songs of the day
 





 September 26, 2023

The summer has been pretty miserable to be honest. I don't like summers and never did. The unrelenting sun, the oceans of free time and listlessness. Friends enjoying endless afternoons on the waterside, while I have to avoid the sun. I don't even enjoy the long days or the short shadows. Am an Autumn person. Even before developing rosacea I was happy when the summer holiday ended and we could all go back to school. Nowadays with rosacea, on sunny summer days I am mostly stuck in the house with the air-conditioning running and a fan on. I honestly switch my day and night rhythm in the summer months, staying up and working with the windows open until 4 AM easily. Then sleeping in and not getting up before noon. Because what's the point of getting up at 8 am when the day is just one big prison? I go for walks through town when the temperatures drop and the sun is down. It is what it is... 

My skin has not been great this summer. The skin flushing is kind of controllable nowadays due to lifestyle adaptations and my anti flushing medication regime. Although when the temperature goes up I flush much more easily. So when at home I run the air-conditioning and sleep/work with a desktop clip on fan running. And I have a collection of eight neck fans also, for when I go out. Some are powerful (my favourite one is this one), others are sleek and resemble headphones. I bring at least one of those neck fans when I go out for a walk or a bicycle ride, when I travel or when I meet people in public. On a good skin day I can go without the neck fan for a bit usually, but as soon as my cheeks start to feel hot and that tingling feeling starts, which usually precedes a big flush, then I put the fan on. They are perfect. My Australian friend uses hers as well when out and about and even had hers running when she had a university meeting. People right in front of you tend to notice that it is a fan, but people around you doing their own thing barely ever pay attention or realise. These fans make a very faint sound also, which is great. 

Like previous summers, the warm 
weather combined with my elevated facial skin temperature has caused a skin rash in 2023 as well. Unfortunately. My darm last year thought it was a regular rosacea outbreak, but I know that it is directly related to my poor facial skin barrier function, which causes heat rash and cold urticaria once the outside temperature gets either too warm or very cold (winter). I tried to control the temperature enough to avoid the red rashes this time around, but only managed to control them a bit more than last summer. I usually just put zinc oxide paste/cream on the skin eruptions and wait until they go away again. But waking up with red dots on the cheeks is just another level of rosacea misery for me tbh. Normally the cheek I sleep on is much more pale than the other cheek (when sleeping on my side). But in the summer months I need to sleep on my back because the slept on cheek is all red and raised and rashy the next day. I think from the heat: rosacea hot skin + cheek on pillow without air flow from the fan means more heat rash. Both my dermatologists, Doctor Chu and Dr Trost have retired by now, unfortunately. They were older doctors to start with, but had so much knowledge and experience. I kind of stick with their taught routine now and keep delaying the move to find a new derm. I am not sure if it makes any sense to go back to my local hospital. I saw so many local dermatologists in the past and all but one worked with textbook rosacea treatments, which are mostly useless for our subtype 1. Three months of high dose doxycycline ruined my bowel function (have irritable bowel and colitis ever since) and made the flushing also worse while taking those pills.

I can't put anything on my skin, other than washing it with gentle bottled water. At the moment I use Voss water, which is very soft water and is delivered in a glass bottle, as I don't want plastic residue on my skin either if possible. So dermatological creams and potions only made things worse for me in the past. I use a very pure zinc oxide cream for spot treatment on blemishes or small pimples and that's about it. I have been lucky that twenty years of zero skin care didn't cause me massive wrinkles, yet (I will be 44 in a few weeks time). I doubt the dermatological community would be able to find volunteers for such a trial, but due to circumstances I had no other choice really. Ideally flushers and burners like me would need a team of doctors; a dermatologist, an allergist, an immunologist, a neurologist.. Or even better: just one doctor who knows about all these specialities and can address all those aspects of vascular, neurological rosacea. But they are near impossible to find.

Then there is also my ankle, which is still not 100% back to normal. But it is getting there. I can walk as normal now and even exercise again, but not at the same intensity as before, so am still feeling a little bit of a slob. But it was a nightmare to have to travel with assistance when I was still hobbling around on crutches. Thank god that is over. Once and hopefully never again, if I can avoid it. It feels miserable to need help with the simplest of things. I now really appreciate the simple act of walking without pain. I had made reservations already for a trip to the Faroe Islands, in May this year. But given the treacherous landscape there I had to cancel, as my ankle was still not good. Bummer.. May go to Budapest instead near the end of this year. I also am in my early forties now and like female friends my same age I am getting peri menstrual symptoms, slowly but surely. Periods that aren't precisely on time, more hair loss than usual (clumps of hair in my brush or in the shower). Perhaps the start of mini hot flashes at night, although this is hard to be sure of in the midst of summer when I want to throw all the blankets off anyway. My mum is in her late sixties and has struggled with hot flashes quite badly for the past 15 (!) years. I am glad in a way that I already take mirtazapine at a low dose and clonidine, which both should theoretically help with menopausal hot flashes. I hope that I won't get it too bad myself 🙏🤞

If you are feeling tired and overwhelmed yourself today, my advice would be to pick one task and then choose something that brings you joy to do afterwards. Get your favorite drink. Go for a walk. Do something that truly has your interest. Have a nap. Meet a nice person. Watch your favorite tv show. Whatever you need to do to get through the day because life is not easy with a chronic illness. But we have to choose to see the magic under the bulls**t, regardless of how shitty in can be. Keep in mind that on social media most people present glossy PR highlight versions of their own lives. Find things that move you and help you grow. Life is a long journey and not always fair or *fun*. But we do grow personally from adapting to misadventure and from not always making the right choices. And I think that's the narrative we should be telling, not some fantasy love story that no one (or at least, not many) can or will achieve. And that's a hard lesson I have had to learn over and over. But there are people who make it worth it and there are animals who deserve our love, books to be read, sports to be enjoyed, travels to be made. I lost my middle sister almost twenty years ago to a missed appendicitis and ever since it is strangely easier for me to just be content with being alive and making it through the years with as much enjoying moments and acceptance of things as possible.
 



Oppenheimer
I have been to the cinema recently and hadn't been there for what seems like ages. But now in summer the cinema hall was nice and cool, so it was pleasant. I went to see Oppenheimer. It is about the 1942 Manhattan Project, aiming to build and test the atomic bomb. Irish actor Cillian Murphy is a favourite of mine and does an incredible job. He is in many Christopher Nolan movies. I recommend the movie! Even though it runs for 3 hours. In structure the movie is a little bit comparable to JFK I thought. Complex storytelling with flashbacks and different intermingling timelines. Easy to follow though. There was a part about Oppenheimer's youth and younger life, a part about the Manhattan Project itself (my favourite part) and then a part about the later McCarthyism years and frantics and how politicians in America tried to ruin him and his legacy. All very interesting and it never felt like a 3 hr movie, it went fast. The pace of this movie never slumps, the magic and magnetisms of the main actors never wavers and for those with a science background there is still enough to enjoy about this movie's fantastic topic.

Core question of the movie seemed to me whether or not the development of the atomic bomb (and later the Hydrogen bomb in extension) was ultimately good or bad for mankind. Oppenheimer had problems with his conscience later on, just like Einstein. But in a way I think: it has put the world in a checkmate chess situation in a way. And that may also be a positive thing? Because quite a few powerful nations have atomic bombs nowadays and even H-bombs and they all know that once one nation seriously start to throw them, they get it back 10-fold and everything will be ruined. That made the cold war super frightening, but by now we can see that the bomb never was thrown again after Hiroshima/Nagasaki. Which was bad enough already. Not to say it won't happen in the 21st century or at some point. But until now it may actually have helped in keeping the peace? A checkmate situation where the risks are high enough to keep even the most rogue nations in check? I am not sure about this though. Still thinking about it. After watching this movie, I also felt a bit of indignation about the way the atomic bomb was used on japan. But that is also how the movie is set up to make you feel. So I have been reading some more about it and have been discussing it a bit and I can also see why America decided to at the time. Not just in light of Pearl Harbour, but also knowing what atrocities the Japanese militaries at the time committed. Very brutal. But innocent civilians remain innocent civilians in the end. And so many innocent civilians died directly or in delayed there in an horrific fashion. Also interesting: the methods that were used to try to frame Oppenheimer as a communist. I knew it was a witch-hunt at the time in the United States, but politicians can be so darn relentless, immoral and corrupt. Nothing changed in that respect. Dirty politics is of all times I suppose. 

The sound was very intense. I thought the volume was set too high perhaps. Had to press my ears shut during some of the high sound scenes. But I later read about the Dutch cameraman who often works with Nolan (Hoyte van Hoytema), who stated that they shot the movie on purpose with an analogue instead of a digital camera. Because they want everything - including the sound - to be as life like as possible. Very few computer effects are used. And he says that Nolan's movies in particular should be viewed in cinemas. Because of how immersive the IMAX experience is then. Sound, depth, wide screen: everything is supposed to really draw you in. That doesn't happen to this extent on a smaller screen at home. I cannot for the life of me understand why this gem of a movie was connected in any way to the Barbie vehicle. The only way in which it links is the premiere date I suppose. The fact that Barbie is more political and indoctrinating than Oppenheimer, set partially in the Cold War era, should raise some eyebrows probably. 



Barbie movie
Then I watched the totally overhyped, overpromoted 'Barbie' movie through an illegal download. It was mehhhh. The story revolves around Barbie world, where the Barbies rule the roost and have all the jobs and all the perks while the Kens are dumb silly doormats, only living to catch Barbie's attention. When Barbie (actress Margot Robbie) starts to get 'dark thoughts', she is sent to the real world as a form of preventive therapy. She wants to figure out what is going on with the kid who has/controls her doll. There Ken notices that it are the men in fact who rule the (real) world and he is very excited about finally feeling validated as a dude. These ruling men are of course totally unreasonable, sexist pigs. Back in Barbie land he stages a revolt and take-over, but the Barbies don't want to share any of their privileges and quickly return things to the status quo and put the Kens back in their pathetic places. The happy ending of this movie is for the Barbies to fool the Kens out of power and take over control again. Completely. Every job of interest is done by the Barbies again. If that is a reflection of how girls play with their dolls, fair enough. But the endless monologues about the patriarchy seem to point to something else entirely: a troubling message and societal commentary for modern audiences. I know some other movies from the director, Greta Gerwig. Wasn't a big fan of her movies until now (even her Little Women was underwhelming), and this new Barbie movie did not help. I was very confused about her treatment of the Kens. Is their total uselessness and second fiddle playing a representation of how children generally play with their Barbies and Kens? And if so, on whose behalf is the female narrator talking (and preaching..) throughout the movie? Or was this another attempt to make women the heroes of everything and men the villains? It certainly felt like that. I personally didn't mind the lack of diversity of the movie characters that much. Nor the 'privilege' of many of these characters. I don't necessarily expect to see all of society represented in every movie. But the political brainwashing was a bit much.

Barbie was a whiney, empty bore in a CGI hellscape. She wasn't even interesting when she went all Schopenhauer for a bit. There is literally no character development and no redeeming quality to her. The other Barbies were equally saccharine-sweet character stereotypes. One or two were modern Hollywood 'quirky' (aka: annoying). I honestly didn't care enough about any of the characters to give them another thought. There is literally nothing redeeming about any of them either. Funny Ken was basically the saviour of this movie, but was consistently treated like dirt. The Kens in general are portrayed as total losers. I honestly wished that Barbie land remained the way the Kens wanted it to be. With beer and giant TV's and just a bit more fun. I'd have considered that a good ending (just because it would go against the grain of expectations of modern day movies). But even for those few fun scenes we were punished with yet another preachy patriarchy monologue by the all-knowing voice. The core message of this movie seems to be that men rule the real world and women only rule in a world of make-belief. This movie would have perhaps had its merits in the 1950's. When women truly were sent to the kitchen and locked in their houses with a brood of kids and a package of valium. But these days? C'mon now. Many western world women (on the whole) can do anything they want and are given positive discrimination too. More women graduate from university here than men. More women go on to do PhD trajectories. The only reason they stop short of the business top is because most women choose to go part-time once they want to have kids. But not even that is expected of them anymore, it is all a free choice. It's getting tiring to see men cast in the villain role so often suddenly, in recent Hollywood projects. Firstly because it has become a dogma of its own and all the virtue signalling movie makers seem to feel the need to jump on board. Secondly because this type of stereotyping is annoying. Especially when the reality is that many of the men we know and even knew in the past (grandfathers etc) were not at all out to suppress and demean all women. I'd say the Church had a much bigger role in this.

My dad always talked about how the world would be a peaceful and fair and well-organized place if only WOMEN ruled it. I always disagreed. And now that women do end up in top roles more often we can actually see that no, psychopaths and corrupt rulers are not all male either. Those are human traits (well, traits of some humans). There are great women and there are manipulative, evil and vindictive women out there. Good female rulers and bad ones. They may have less testosterone than men but they have the memory of an elephant when it comes to slights and conflict. But somehow Hollywood is dead-set on hammering the message into young, impressionable viewers that men are and always were evil. It honestly makes me cynical. I mean, never mind that they gave their lives to save the world from the nazi's etc. Men are oppressing women and our fathers, brothers and cousins were equally terrible men who oppressed women. Never mind men like Mahatma Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King, Copernicus, Richard Dawkins, David Attenborough, Oskar Schindler to name a few. Never mind all the men who selflessly fought in wars to defend their countries; who sacrificed their lives to liberate prisoners in the concentration camps: all prime examples of 'oppressive patriarchy'. And let's not forget all those over privileged men who worked in the mines, ruining their 'privileged' lungs. The ones dying on the Titanic because they let women and children use the lifeboats. Such bastards.. Never mind the men who supported their wives, daughters, sisters, mothers (including disabled and sick women) in history towards progress and living fully deserved rich lives. All were all horrible oppressors of women, if we are to believe the current Hollywood and popular media culture. Guilty by gender association. Barbie teaches us that all of them should be condemned. Cynical... 

Women do have to catch up in many fields but that is also because for centuries they weren't in a position to become scientists or writers. Blame socio-economic circumstances and the church first and foremost for this. Then the fact that the majority of women had easily half a dozen of children in the past and had to both work and raise those kids in poverty often. But not many poor men were in a position to thrive in the field of their interest either in the past. How many dreamed of spending their waking hours down in mines? They all had little other choice. So why can't people just simply support equality? Equal rights, equal possibilities? Instead of collectively trying to demonize an entire group of people. That sort of black and white thinking is rife at the moment. I wonder if the younger generations' TikTok brain is to blame perhaps. No patience or capabilities to deal with nuance or difference of opinion. Cancelling people left and right based on rumours or hunches instead of hard proof. Ugh.. 

(Me and my parents and middle sis on the left). I love (most) kids and in another life with better health I would like my own, but there is no denying that over here, parenting has changed dramatically from when we grew up in the 80's. Helicopter parenting. I know of quite a few friends of friends who are 'gentle parenting' - and their kids run absolutely roughshod. Kids hitting and biting one another, things broken and shell-shocked parents. They have bought into the thought that their kids have just as much input into the decisions of the house as the parents (think of kids under the age of six..). When one of the kids is misbehaving, instead of saying 'don't hit your brother' they say things like 'you have a lot of big feelings today, can you tell me how you feel? How do you think your brother feels?' As if the kid doing the hitting wasn't purposely trying to hurt his brother. When they are adults and the police haul them in, can anyone imagine them going down on their knees and saying; 'You look like you are having some big feelings, can we talk about why you assaulted three people this evening?' Followed by a hug. These are college educated and otherwise pretty normal people. My sister broke some of her long standing friendships because of the feral behaviour of kids of friends, and the unwillingness of these friends to discipline. Parents who just stand by helplessly as the little one runs amok. Some openly speak about their fears of their own children's wrath. That they are scared their children won't love them or won't visit them after growing up, because of the parents now disciplining and punishing them. Bizarre... Children always push boundaries. It's part of learning and experiencing curves. Without boundaries and discipline many will max out their recklessness or become unadapted, respectless people. Reasonable rules create a framework to understand the world around kids. It also prepares them for the adult world. It is a parents' job to bring them up to realise that what they want is not necessarily always what they will get. 

Things were definitely not all better in the past, but us kids back in the day were given both clear boundaries and a lot of freedom and responsibility. All the kids in the village were kicked out the door in the weekend by their parents, and told to be back by dinner time. It was great. I remember scores of us cycling half an hour to the local sand dunes and surfing down them without a care in the world about caving sand. Never did a parent follow us or check if we were safe. We were told what to be careful of and without parents around we were indeed acting responsibly. If anyone messed up, he or she felt the cause and effect instantly. Parents did not mow away all forms of danger and risk for their kids then. They were busy working, being in politics or doing adult only stuff. Many kids are born pre-programmed to try to get what they want. Our parents were pretty open minded and kind, they certainly loved us but were most definitely not our buddies at that time. We were even given a mild slap on a few occasions. Just enough to snap us out of unacceptable behaviour. Slapping is no longer really allowed over here, not even a mild tick. But my sisters and I never suffered under it and knew why it happened; never out of the blue or without a very clear reason. Or we were sent to our rooms without food. My mum once or twice put our heads under the cold water tap also when we were under 10 years old😏 That ended our uncalled for attitude right away! And when we got some form of punishment in school (usually a slap on the hand with a ruler or standing in the corner for ten minutes), no parent marched to school to settle a score there. Mostly all parents assumed that we must have deserved it, and were glad that school helped to raise us. Bullying in our schools was the exception, not the rule as teachers would act and punish. While high achievers were lauded in front of the classroom (I can see though that this really demotivated some students..). I am shocked to hear some stories from teacher friends nowadays. The level of disrespect is astonishing. 

So anyway, this Barbie movie may do well in cinemas but I can't see people in the future looking all that favourably at this pile of nonsense. Maybe only as a fair representation of the talking points of woke modern privileged women of 2023. All Oscars should go to the PR team who turned this turd into a success and scammed legions of young girls in the process, who showed up in their princess dresses, hoping to be entertained. Only to be confused and bored with this disjointed mess of a movie: too childish in its stereotypes for adults and too serious for kids. Another Hollywood movie that has to preach political views with trigger-warning friendly vanilla humour. It has its place in certain genres, perhaps, but Disney is doing the same and all their woke projects are tanking with the general audiences.

UPDATE: And now the whole nonsense from Ryan Gosling about him getting an Academy Award (Oscar) nomination for his role, but Margot Robbie not getting one for her role as Barbie and Greta Gerwig neither.... with Ryan writing about what an abomination this is in an online post... That sort of entitled backlash only further cheapens this movie. People don't normally make movies expecting to get Academy Awards, you'd hope. You do it for the craft and then awards are an occasional form of recognition, and depending on many factors including the overall field of competition. This was a mediocre silly movie with mediocre acting. Shame Ryan Gosling 'has no plans' to forfeit his oscar nod haha. Of course he hasn't. Am glad that Oppenheimer does get the critical recognition it deserves. 



Appalachia
Lastly, I saw this wonderful episode about a young man living off the grid in Kentucky, Appalachia (USA). Even though it is far removed from how we live here I was fascinated by him and touched by his way of living, his beliefs and faith and just his entire attitude towards life. When you have about an hour of free time, give it a go. Titus also looks for a life partner and gave the reporter his landline number - which he shares in a shed with an Amish neighbour haha - and within days of this episode airing on Youtube his answering machine had been chuck full with messages. Understandably the phone number was taken offline again soon after.


He lives a charming, simple lifestyle, but I am sweating just watching his off grid life without aircon, fridge or fan 😄 I also saw this clip come by. Touching words of wisdom from the old Uncle Seymore and a beautiful sad song from a descendant of Dutch people, Townes van Zandt. Bob Dylan was a big fan of his. I like what Uncle Seymore said about how to live. Always be busy with something. Eat and drink in moderation. Eat three meals a day, eat 'soul food' such as beans, corn, the best whiskey. Thank God for the time you got from him on earth. Talk to him just like you talk to the people around you. Meanwhile that singer died relatively young from alcohol abuse. Uncle already warned him about this in this clip. Maybe that's why he had some tears at the last part of that beautiful Townes song, because it basically shows through the lyrics that it was pointless to warn him. 





Songs of the day

    




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9 comments:

  1. Interesting what you wrote on the „left“ and left-wing actionism. What is it to call someone „left-wing“ ? It´s the knowledge about political economics, the basis of capitalism (I have to confess : I am an orthodox Marxist). Most „left“ people lack it completely. The so called „Left“ in Europe will get nowhere without it. The „Left“ has long been abandoned the analysis of modern capitalism, and that´s for a good reason : it has become part of it ! (the mostly „green“ esoteric (e.g. veganism) instead of a deep scientific analysis of shareholder capitalism). As my algebra professor once said : that´s all „kokolores“, or in marxist terms : that´s the „Überbau“.

    (You used in another blog the term „Reich-wingers“ : That´s nice, never heard it before; and it´s a term NOT ONLY suitable for the new European fascists)

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    1. Hi David :)
      (or should I say comrade?)

      Thanks for your comment. Yeh I wished the new lefts focus point would turn back to the 1%, better distribution of wealth in the world, things like that. Instead of some of the petty current topics fed by the media.

      Perhaps the traditional definition of the Left wing versus Right wing terminology has changed over time too? In the USA apparently socialism or anything leaning in that direction (welfare state) is branded 'Communism' right off the bat. Still..

      Yes you hardly hear a discussion anymore (outside of specialist corners) about capitalism. True, even the left wing topics du jour itself have been hijacked by capitalism (veganism, 'food-ism', woke-ness, political correctness). In a society where everything revolves around 'I want it Now, and quick please', I wonder if anyone even challenges some of capitalism's less favourable side effects. A lot of people nowadays seem preoccupied with getting rich slash famous slash successful as soon as possible. Even when I studied at university back in the early 2000's, hardly anyone was bothered about political or social questions, let alone capitalism; instead they wanted to get a well paying job asap. I'm not a big fan of capitalism an sich either. Or the excesses of the majority of the wealth being in the hands of less than 1% of society. But then again, when you encounter the sort of state funded customer service in a country like France, you'd almost wish they were privatized haha (so slow.. so slack... so disinterested).

      AH yes, I can't claim that term as my own but indeed, multi-applicable

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  2. Hi comrade Scarlet :)
    In times like these it is essential to commemorate those who gave their lives to free Europe from Fascism. Your blog entry is appreciated very much !
    Nevertheless (I hope all that does not sound too upper pedantic) I want to give hint to another battle (one that is almost forgotten in our western view of WW2) that was decisive in the further development of the war : The battle of Kursk in summer of 1943 („Operation Citadel“). It had already been taken place a year before D-Day in Normandy. The Germans lost almost their entire tank force there (which was the backbone of the German army). From then on the Germans had to retrieve from any occupied territory in the Soviet Union. It was the Red Army that paved the way for June 6, 1944. Without it D-Day would never have been possible.

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    1. Добрый день, товарищ
      Thank you. So many fascinating, tragic, memorable, heroic battles have taken place over the course of history, but some do stand out. In the past I wrote a bit about Hannibal for instance, I do like the smart tactical geniuses. Oh thanks so much, I'm going to look into it right away. Sure there are some documentaries to be found on Operation Citadel/Kursk. I've seen and read quite a bit about the Battle of Stalingrad but this sounds interesting too. I did come across the Germans dramatic loss of tanks during their battles at the Eastern front, so it must have been more specifically during this Operation Citadel then. Yes those tanks would have mad a disaster of D-Day, had they been present (or used) in Normandy.. And it was Stalin who pressed his new allied friends to start contributing too and to invade France. Yes the Red army was important and one of the few times in modern history that the Americans actually worked together with Russia I guess? Considering their usual McCarthyism attitude towards Russia.

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  3. Like all great artists, Igor lives in his own world.
    He is apparently so convinced of his art
    that he doesn't care
    that outside of his world
    toilet paper has become a new currency
    which is only traded in dark backrooms
    and maybe soon more valuable than gold or bitcoins.

    Art lovers of all countries unite!
    Does not allow,
    that our most valuable personal care product
    is destroyed by Igor!
    Give Igor his own personal care product
    for his murder tools!
    Nobody needs Scratchings IV, Scratchings V and Scratchings VI !

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    1. Haha thank you Gunter and you are correct that the artistic outcomes of Igor do not quite warrant the costly basic material he squanders for it! I will push him to switch to collages, and will hand him the obsolete morning papers to get creative with.

      Thank you!

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  4. Hi Scarlet. Ive been following your blog for a year or so now. Its been very helpful. As there has been no update since the end of July, I just thought I would check if everything is alright?

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    1. Thank you Jason, that is so kind of you to ask. Very glad to hear it's been helpful what I wrote. Yes I have been ok. Just have been a bit preoccupied with other things and I did not want to ramble on and on about covid and politics here, but focus on rosacea again. But I'll update a bit more. I tend to write more here when things don't go well.. And my rosacea hasn't been too bad the past months. But I'm sure that in winter I will be back to bad flushing and burning all the time. Best wishes!

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    2. Thanks for the nice message. Only now I realised you replied! A year after you wrote it. I just wanted to say its good to see you are doing your own research regarding covid and sharing your findings. I'm fully aware myself of the lies we are being told on a daily basis and how the truth is being supressed. All the best to you :)

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